THE TRIP

Last night

I wake up on my sofa. My memory is hazy. I feel exhausted and as I stand up to go to my kitchen I feel disorientated and dizzy. I take a few steps but vomit on the floor. "Fuck" I mumble to myself. I rush to my bathroom and turn on the tap drinking as much water as i can. The smell of puke reaches me and I feel even worse. I try to remember last nights events. Last night seems distant. I cant rember much but I try to go over everything.
Party. Dancing. Fun. Kissing. Kissing someone that is not Amanda. Vodka. Shots. Sex. More shots. Bodyyyy shots. Dancing. Lights. Home. Mad Amanda.
"Fuck Amanda is gone!" I shout even though I know I am completely alone. My throat dries up and my stomach hurts. Im an idiot. I pick up my phone and go to Amandas contact. I look at the word in front of me "My everything❤️" she is my everything why do I keep treating her like she is worthless. What the fuck is wrong with me? I press on call hoping I still might have a chance. I know I dont. I want her back.  But I know this was my last chance and I blew it. Each sound my phone makes I hope she will pick up. I know she wont. My grip tightens as I hear her voice speak. At first I think she actually picked up but I realized its just her voice recorder. "Hi! Iam busy right now and can not talk but please try to call me later, send me a text or leave a message after the beep"she says "beep!" Her phone goes indicating I should leave a message or hang up. "Uhmmm Hey.." I start but I cant continue. I hang up without sending the message. I throw my self on my couch and drop my phone next to me. I suddenly feel the tears come out of my eyes. I don't try to stop then instead I take a pillow and just start screaming a punching. "FUCK EVERYTHING I HATE MY LIFE I AM THE WORST PERSON EVER!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I am so mad. At myself. How could I? I am such a idiot! It wasnt even the first time I cheated. Amanda is the best thing that ever happend to me. She is the only one who has loved me for me other than Dad... Mom hated me and so do my other relatives. Im utterly useless I think to myself but my thought are interrupted by my doorbell. Who the fuck could it be? It couldn't possibly be Amanda could it? Kyle? No he would be to hangover? Who else would come? FUCK WHAT IF IT IS AMANDA? I stand up and I feel sick. What should I say to her. I take a deep breath and slowly open the door. I open and I am expecting to see Amanda's short figure standing there but I see something completely different Mrs.Cradbury. Her hair is up in a messy bun with bits and piece stocking out. Personally I think it looks like she has a birds nest on her head but why do I care?  She stands in a pink worn out rope. And green paste all over her face. "What do you think you are up to young man?" She shouts at me. "Im sorry Mrs.Cadbury I wont disturb you anymore." I say sounding annoyed yet tired. "Well stop with the screaming okay?" She says a bit calmer. "Okay" I say. Not wanting to talk to this annoying old lady I shut the door before she can say another word.