Perfect Species

4. Guilt

~CALLIE'S JOURNAL~
DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE CALLIE.

24/3/3119
I messed up. Oh God, I messed up. It's been a week and I still haven't spoken to Luke.

What should I do? Should I apologise, or just lose contact with him completely? Can I face speaking to him after how stupid I was? I can't believe I had the audacity to ask about his blindness, especially as he gets bullied because of it.

It makes me wonder, though. About what happened to him in the past.

No, I shouldn't start getting curious, it's obviously personal to him. He must feel awful, knowing that he could have lived a normal life if he hadn't gone blind. He may even have been another Robot.

I saw him round the back of the toilets yesterday. He was surrounded by a group of eighth years-big, burly 18 year-olds that reeked of alcohol. I didn't stop and stare, but their hollers were loud enough that I managed to hear what they were saying.

"Bet you get all the girls, don't you, boy?"

"Yeah, those cool shades of yours make you look so strong and-able!"
They roared with laughter at their own pathetic joke. I wanted to shut them up, I really did, but I didn't know how Luke would take it.

He's been bullied a lot in the past week. I guess I didn't notice before, but he's had a constant string of abuse from every direction. Saying that I feel sorry for him is a real understatement.

He's had trouble from me, too.

I feel awful.

Actually, I feel like the worst human being there ever was.

You know what, I'm going to apologise to him. Just so he knows that I'm still there for him, whether he wants me around or not.

How should I go about it? Talk to him personally, write a letter?

No, stupid, he's blind!

Talk to him it is then. I'm nervous, I'll admit. But any form of apology is better than nothing. Right?

24/3/3119
I did it.

About time.

Our last lesson was double Maths, so we sat next to each other for two hours. The silence was more than a little uncomfortable.

Around 45 minutes in, I had given up with the work, and I was sat there doodling when I was suddenly interrupted.

"Shit!"
It was Luke, and he was on the floor.

He was searching for something, it seemed. After the initial shock concerning his outburst, I spotted a pencil to the right of him. This was it, my chance to talk to him! I took a deep breath, then knelt on the floor beside him.

"Seems like we're in this situation a lot, huh?" I passed him the pencil.

"Callie?" Luke was genuinely surprised that I actually spoke to him. "Uh, thanks..." he sounded embarrassed.
"You know, about last week, I just want to say that I'm s-"

Oh no, he brought it up! "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to say what I said-I was really insensitive and I promise that I'll never be invasive again, just please forgive me because I didn't mean to upset you, I'm so sorry!" The words come flooding out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"Woah, slow down!" He chuckled. "I was going to say the same. I shouldn't have ignored you, I'm sorry. You didn't know that it was a sensitive topic. But it's okay! I forgive you."

"So, are we, y'know, friends, kind of, maybe?" I stutter. Great job of playing cool, Callie.

"Definitely." He smiled.

The rest of Maths flew by. I told him funny stories about how I planned to take revenge against one of the regular school bullies. For the first time in a week, I'd got him to laugh.

So, it's all okay now. We're friends again! I can't help but feel bad, though. I wish I could make it up to him somehow.

But how would I even start?