The Angel in the Black Sweater | Kim Taehyung

Chapter 2: U is for Unpredictable

7:43 am.

I got on my tram on time. I was even there 5 minutes early. By some miracle until now there hasn't been one tram I've missed, and so I have been seeing him every day. The problem is that every time I see and watch him, it brings me pleasure but it started also being balanced by the same amount of pain, because I want more. 

I had noticed so much about his appearance but nothing about what he likes, what he listens to, what vegetable he likes, how old he is or what his story is. In other words, I have no clue what's happening in his head. Why can't I put my finger on it? This leaves me in constant curiosity, he intrigues me more every second I glance at him. Ugh. I'm so frustrated. He's all I care about right now. I've never felt this way. I hid my head in my book in dissatisfaction.

"Watcha reading?" a low, slightly raspy but soft voice I had never heard before spoke to me from above.

I looked up. It was him, he was looking at me, waiting for an answer. I tried not to show that I was internally imploding, smiled and showed him the book cover.

"Do...Do you know it?" I asked him, trying not to sound too shaky.

"Oh. I don't really read. I was just asking... because I see you reading it every time I see you"

At that point my heart started pounding so loudly, I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. Could he hear it? I hope not. He finally acknowledged my existence. I barely kept the excitement in.

"You seem like a cool person, why does that book seem so gloomy?" He frowned, examining it.

"I'm not the most joyful person these days" I said quietly.
Oh no. Now I sound depressed. Nice. Oh god how to I fix this? How is he going to be any different from the others? Maybe it was better when I saw him from afar, at least then I had full hope that he wasn't like the others and wouldn't judge me for wearing darker clothes and a little dark in spirit. Please don't let him think I'm a cringey 2003 emo kid like they're portrayed on the internet.

"To be honest, me neither. Do you want to talk about it next time we meet? I mean... it doesn't have to be gloomy stuff... just stuff" He asked, leaning sideways onto the tram wall in front of me.

Huh. I judged him too quickly. This is the first person who actually offered to talk to me about other things than homework. Plus, it's about gloomy stuff. Wow. This boy really is special I guess.

I nodded.

"Great" he said, then I stood up and hopped off the tram. As I stood on the pavement, we exchanged a smile while the tram left and took him with it.

***

After school, I rushed back to catch the tram. I walked onto it, and saw him again. So he takes the same tram as me at exact same times? I guess this is fate. Strange, nonetheless. I walked over to him. In the middle of my way over when I stopped and I realized. He was talking with someone. A boy. The boy was crying, and he was holding him, his arms around his neck, gently patting his shoulder with his hands, telling him repeatedly that it was okay. This was unexpected. I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to talk to him, but I felt happy. This boy cares about so many people. It warmed my heart even to see it. I would be lying if I said I wasn't impressed by his selflessness. If anything, it made me like or... love him more.

There is this feeling of glee when you find out the person you're in love with from afar is actually as beautiful a person. When you hope and pray that the person you've been crushing on isn't a dickhead, basically, and it turns out they actually are a good person. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, you don't ever want to let that person go. Like a shiny seashell in a sea of rocks and sand. I want to protect this creature. It seems so rare, so fragile in this place. It is too good to be tampered with by the forces of evil in this cruel world. I want to spare suffering for him, I want to put an end to anyone who dared lay a finger on him. Again, I am a little over-dramatic, I know, but I'm serious.

So I sat. And I stared. I stared at the kindness that came from this person.

The boy, shortly after, and I don't know if I hallucinated it, but seemed to vanish into thin air. He probably got off and I was so mesmerized by my seashell poetry that I didn't realize.