River & Colt [Completed]

7. After

Unedited
7. Twenty-one

River

"River, you have a visitor," Mrs. Mayer calls quietly from upstairs. I hear light footsteps and then Mackenzie is standing in my tiny living room while my daughter plays with toys on her play mat.

A feeling of being trapped washes over me and I know there is no escape. I can't take both Luna and I and run passed her towards my half broken down car. But I wish we could.

I wanted to tell Kenz on my own time. When my life settled down a bit and I could see straight. Right now I feel like tidal wave after tidal wave is hitting my straight in the chest and my heart and head hurt. I hurt all over.

Mackenzie is standing in the same spot frozen. I wonder what's going through her mind. Is she seeing the dingy white paint, the carpet that was white but is now brown, the tiny stove or is she simply staring at Luna.

Luna who is sort of looking our way and still focused on her discarded toys. She makes a tiny squeak of a sound that automatically makes me smile. Then she giggles her perfect baby laugh and I look over at Kenzie for a reaction. She doesn't have one.

She shakes her head, mouth opening and closing. Looking from me to Luna then back. She is confused and I see a flash of hurt on her face as well. She should be hurt. I haven't been a good friend and I haven't given her the chance to be a good friend to me.

Mackenzie takes a few tentative steps towards Luna then pauses, turns around to look at me.

"She looks like Colt. But she can't be Colt's. She's too young." More pausing. Then a realization crosses her features.

"Colt came to visit you? He said he had to get out of town for a while. I never thought-" her voice trails off as well as her words. She seems lost and I wish I could help her find her way.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I whisper picking Luna up. Kenz can't take her eyes off of the baby. She's adorable with dark brown baby fine hair and blue-green eyes, dimple in one cheek.

"Colton doesn't know." It isn't a question. And I know she knows that he doesn't. If Colton knew he would be here for us, with us. I didn't want him to lose himself in this. I don't know why I felt like I had to handle it myself.

"Kenz," I say and stop. I'm not sure how to make this better. "When he came he had all these plans. When I found out I didn't want to ruin his dreams. Colton hasn't talked about the future since the accident."

Mackenzie shakes her head, "that wasn't your right, Vi. He should've been involved." Her eyes are wide and dark. I can tell her is trying to control herself around Luna but I almost wish she wouldn't. I know I was wrong. I've thought about it every single day since Luna was born.

"Why do you think I'm back here?" I ask her finally making eye contact. She's still the same friend I left behind. Bumps and bruises can't change that.

"You're going to make things right?" She asks. "I wanted you to stay away from you and now you can't. This is screwed up, River. I can't even believe what I'm seeing."

I nod and am at a loss for words again. At one point I thought I grew out of the silence but I've been alone for a while now and it seems like words have once again disappeared on me. I'm just glad that Kenzie knows this. She understands without words and that is all I need right now.

She walks over to me tentatively and wraps both me and Luna in a hug. It's short but it's a start.

"You'll tell him soon." Again it isn't a question or a suggestion. She knows just as well as I do that I would put this off until Kenzie was forced to tell Colt herself.

She sighs, "He is doing really well. I wasn't lying when I saw you at the diner. He's finally found something he's good at besides baseball and he really enjoys it."

"A garage, right?" I know exactly what she said back at the diner but I want her to keep talking and I want to figure out how to find words again.

"Yeah."

"He's always loved working on cars. It's a good fit for him," I say cautiously. I know we are still on shaky ground, but at least that ground isn't cracking anymore.