Song : afraid - the neighbourhood
Its weird to me when people say they can sleep all day everyday or whenever they want.
I cant even sleep long then 5 hours without waking up scared of god know what.
I like sleeping but then i don't. i like sleeping because i can get away from doing anything for a while not having to worry about anything.
I also hate sleeping because i feel like instead of sleeping i could be doing something like drawing or even going for a walk. I don't know its weird id rather be out then sleep.
I don't really have dreams ,come to think of it even as a kid i didn't really have dreams. I mean i remember some of them but they were the kind of dreams where i got trapped or forgotten .
I wonder if that's what im afraid of? to be forgotten or trapped in a continuous loop where i cant escape,i just stay there and watch it happen over and over again.
We all fall asleep in different way . Some of us have to fall asleep with a fan on, some fall asleep with a little teddy bear or stuffed animal they got as a kid or from someone special. I fall asleep to music if i dont i think about things i could be doin or if someone would come in and only kidnap me .
Its 6:57 right now and i just woke up from a 20 min nap because i heard my mother leave for work .i cant go back to sleep because what if my mother comes back and yells at me for not cleaning.
i want to sleep all day everyday just so i don't have to talk to anyone . I don't know why sleeping is so hard for me when its all i want to do
I cant sleep why cant i be normal.
