Skinny

Chapter 28 : Concert nerves

Chapter 28

A few days later...

Riker POV

Rydel appeared in my doorway.

"Hey, Rik."

"Hey..."

"I have a question for you."

"What?"

Rydel sat down on the end of my bed.

"How have things been lately?"

"Well... After that concert a few days ago... I guess I've been doing a little better. Um... Dad gave me back my phone and laptop last night before I went to bed... And I've been looking through some of my notifications."

"And?"

"And people are worried about me. They care about me, Rydel!" I said, smiling.

"I told you, Rik."

"I mean... There have been a few mean comments... But I've been trying to not care about them, like you told me. There are a lot more nice comments than mean ones."

"Good... Have you uh... Done anything bad lately?"

"Did mom and dad tell you to ask me?"

"Well... Yeah. They know you trust me. I'm sorry, Riker."

"It's ok... I've thought about doing it, but I haven't. I just want to get better."

"Good... So... Dad wanted me to ask you something."

"What?"

"He wants you to try another concert. And it's this Friday. It's the same place as last time. They liked us last time, so they've asked us to come back again."

"Rydel, I know I'm doing better. But I really don't know if I can do this yet."

"Why couldn't you do it last time? What happened exactly?"

"I just got so nervous that everyone would think I was fat, or I had an eating disorder, or... I don't even know... I think I was just stuck in my head a little... I was just so nervous... I panicked."

"But you said you read a bunch of nice comments."

"I know... But I'm just really worried. I'm scared for everyone to see me."

"Why?"

"Well... Ok, I know I'm not fat because everyone keeps saying it. But what if I'm too skinny and the fans see, and then they find out I have an eating disorder and they hate on me for it?"

"Riker. I need you to listen to me, ok?"

I nodded.

"Our fans are really supportive. If they noticed, I'm sure they'd be supportive, and give you encouragement to do better. But in reality Riker, I don't think they'll notice. You guys jump around the stage so much, it'll be hard to tell."

I looked up at Rydel, nervously.

"Really, Riker. I'm not just saying that to get you on stage."

"I'm just nervous..."

"I know you are. But do you think you can try again?"

I sighed.

"I mean... I guess so...?"

"Awesome. And remember, if you need to talk, you have any of us. And we won't get mad if you can't do the concert as long as you try."

"Are you sure dad won't be mad?"

"Riker, he won't. He just wants to push you a little. We're trying to help you get back to normal. I know you used to love concerts and performing. I think maybe once you get back out there and remember how much fun it is, you'll be able to push everything away that you're nervous about."

"Rydel..."

"What?"

"I just have one thing on my mind I kind of wanted to talk about..."

"What is it, Rik?"

"Just... How do I get the thoughts to go away?"

"What thoughts?"

"The thoughts about wanting to starve myself and throw up and stuff..."

Rydel sighed.

"Honestly, Rik... I think you just need to keep practicing eating a normal sized meal. And over time it'll get easier. These things are difficult to get over. But you can do it."

"Can I have a hug?"

"Of course, Rik."

I hugged my sister tightly.

"Anything else you need to talk about?"

"I don't think so... I just like knowing that everyone is there for me."

"Aw... Well another reason I came up here was to tell you it's time for dinner."

"Oh... What are we having?"

"Mom made spaghetti."

"I love mom's spaghetti."

Rydel smiled.

"It's nice to see you happy to eat again, Riker."

"Well it's kind of nice not to really worry about eating. I'm just trusting everyone that they're getting me to do everything I should be. And I seriously hate throwing up."

Rydel put her arm around me, and we both walked downstairs together to have dinner.