out of the box

it felt too real

"when you're dreaming with a broken heart... waking up is the hardest part."

----------------

everyone was gone that night, not a pet or a sibling. it was an empty house all on my own without the knowledge of where anyone was at exactly. I was tired and sad.

to know I no longer had access to you or even was a want in your mind anymore tore me apart--you just didn't want us; how am I suppose to fight that? I can never fight when someone leaves, I'm not strong enough.

yet I feel like out of everyone I know who has left a relationship, I was not allowed to cry in the public eye or show my weakness anywhere. you were my weakness.

I strolled and laid there in the bed where we were playing around and you first kissed me trying to sleep knowing I won't get a good rest no matter what. hell knows how long I laid there wide awake, yet exhausted.

I checked my phone that no longer rang with your messages. 12:00, the clock read. then I walked to the living room, with a growing pain in my chest when I saw through the small window of my door you stood. you looked lost and didn't know quite what you were doing and then you turned back to face my house and we made eye contact for the first time since you crushed me from underneath.

I didn't know my body moved towards the door until you were standing right in front of me with space to allow every bat to fly in. my eyes watered with fear as I gritted my teeth to remind myself of my strength, I had to be strong.

then you stroked my face and kissed me, and when my face brushed yours through the kiss I realized the salt water on my face. you guided me back up to my room and laid there. I played with you hair until you fell asleep.

then reality hit me at 3:47 when I slowly started opening my eyes and felt you fade away to my heartbroken realization that it was just a dream.