Can You Feel My Heart? (NOT EDITED)

Space Enough To Grow

I was at a concert. I heard the screams of the fans. I looked up and all I saw was pitch black. Where are all the people? I could hear them but I couldn't see them. The screams of the fans kept getting louder and louder. It was too much for me. I covered my ears hoping it would get silent, but it didn't stop. Right when I decided it was too much it got deadly silent. Then I was hit with bright lights. The auditorium was empty and I was alone. I felt something in my hand. I saw that it was a gun. Pull the trigger said a voice in my head. I lifted the gun up to the side of my head and pulled the trigger.

I woke up with a start. Why did I have that dream? I don't know but it scared me. I heard soft snores coming from beside me. I looked over to find the one and only Alan Ashby. Why is he in my room? then all the memories of yesterday came flooding into my mind. I sighed looking at the clock seeing it was 3:00 a.m. I slowly got out of bed being careful not to wake up Alan. When I opened the door it creaked. Shit I thought looking over t a still sleeping Alan. As soon as I got out the door I walked down the hall to the stairs. When I was walking to the stairs a door opened and I saw Mike standing there looking at me. "Hi...I was just going to get a glass of water..." I lied. He just smirked and grabbed my hand pulling me down stairs and into the kitchen.

When we got to the kitchen mike got down two glasses and a bottle of water. Splitting it between the two. I quickly drank it all, As did he. We were just sitting in silence when a thought of a cigarette came to mind. "Hey, do you have a cigarette? I don't know where mine went. I'm pretty sure Andy took them." He smirked. "Not with me but I have something better." He said pulling out a bag with a few joints in it. I smiled and grabbed a couple. He did the same and we went out in the back. It was beautiful. He pulled out a lighter and lit one of them. I took a few hits and passed it to him. I decided to break the silence. "So...I have a question." He looked over at me and nodded his head passing the joint back. I took another few hits and smiled feeling the high. I visibly relaxed. "Why are ya'll doing this for me? You all came running after me...why?"

He sighed taking a hit. "You're different. I don't know how to explain it but you are. You looked so sad and heartbroken. I knew you were a fan from the bracelet on your arm. When you bumped into me It was something so heartbreaking. I couldn't help but feel my heart break. My brother used to self harm. I didn't even know. I don't know what I would have did if I had known. I try to help every fan as much as I can. I don't give up the opportunity when it comes along. I have never felt as scared as I was when I saw the cuts. They were so deep. Then you took off and I knew I had to follow. I didn't want you to do anything else. But when I got to the forest and saw Vic and you on the ground... I knew he felt the same. As did everyone else."

I looked up and saw that in his eyes everything he said was true. I smiled and pulled him into a hug. He was shocked at first but quickly responded. I decided to lighten the mood. "Well...I say we go into that shed, hotbox, and get as stoned as we can." He smiled and we took off running to it. When we got inside I saw all of the guitars. I smiled running my hand across Tony's. I turned back to mike and saw him holding another lit joint. I smiled at him and took a huge hit. I held it in. When I exhaled I saw mike looking at me with his mouth open. I giggled. "This isn't my first time smoking weed." He laughed and took another hit. We stayed out there for about an hour smoking everything he had on him. We were really high. When we opened the shed a bunch of smoke left. I'm sure you could smell it everywhere in the neighborhood.

When we got inside we went straight into the kitchen trying to find something to eat. As soon as we walked into the kitchen I saw Alan, Vic, Austin, Oli, Tony, Jaime, Andy, CC, and Ashley all in the kitchen looking worried. When we enters all eyes were on us and everyone looked shocked. They could smell the weed, I knew that. "Hey..guys...um What's up?" I ask trying to hold in my laughter but failing. Mike started laughing with me. When we finally settled down I saw everyone was either mad or jealous. Why are they jealous? Because they didn't get any? "MICHAEL FUENTES, DID YOU GET HER HIGH?" Vic yelled as he slapped like upside the head. "Ouch! It was her idea!" Thanks a lot asshole! I glared. "Throw me under the bus why don't you!" He looked at me apologetically.

I cleared my throat. "Look, I had a nightmare and came down to get some water. I ran into mike on the way there. He helped me get the water. I saw that he had some weed and I took some going outside and smoking it. It helps me relax." Everyone was still shocked. I looked down and way that I needed to change my bandages. I saw Vic come over to me pulling me up to his room so he could fix them. He made me sit on his bed while he worked. When he took all the bandages off I gasped. They looked horrible and infected. He got some rubbing alcohol and presses it into them. I hissed at the burning. He stopped cleaning them and put new bandages on. Kissing each cut as he did. My arms still stinging as he pulled me into a hug. I was still shorter than him so he put his chin on my head. "I kissed the scars on her skin. I still think you're beautiful, and I don't ever wanna lose my best friend." I laughed at how it fits the situation. I smiled at him and he kissed my forehead. We went back down stairs him holding my hand. When we got into the living room I saw everyone was up. They were deciding where to eat. "Ihop! PLEASE!" I said smiling. My go to place when I had the munchies. Everyone agreed and went to get ready.

I needed clothes. "Um....What do I wear?..." I asked blushing. "These should fit you." I saw Andy give me some girls clothes. I looked up with my eyebrows raised. "Ex-girlfriend." he said while blushing. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek in appreciation. I went into the closes bathroom which happened to be CC's and changed Seeing many un-opened tooth brushes and toothpaste I brushed my teeth. I also used some of his war paint as eyeliner. I brushed my hair and put it up in a bun. Not to bad I though looking at myself. I left the bathroom to find everyone waiting. I got a whistle from Ashley, which got a slap from the back of the head from Oli. "Now that everyone's ready....lets go." mike said running outside. I quickly followed and jumped on his back. He caught me and started jumping. "Who am I riding with?" I asked. "Me." Austin asked picking me up off of Mikes back and putting me into his car, and buckling me up. Everyone looked shocked. I just laughed and Austin got in taking off to Ihop.

I saw a cord for my phone that played music and charged it. So I plugged it up. I put on Second & Sebring and Austin giggled. I smiled singing. As soon as the screams came on Austin Started. I sat there in shock. Thinking about the situation. My Hero's all with me. I spent the night in one of their beds. I smoked with one. Now I'm getting my own little performance. He looked at me and saw my wowed expression. I saw him smile. This song and man have helped me so much. At the end of the song I started to get teary eyed. He seemed to get that way too. I sang the last line my voice shaking. "This is not what it is, only baby scars. I need your love like a boy needs his mothers side...." a tear slid down my cheek and I saw Austin smiling sad at me. "Austin?" He parked in the parking lot. "Yes?" I smiled at him still crying. "Thank you for helping me through so much. Even if it wasn't in person. I wouldn't be here without you or any of the others. I can't express how much your music has saved me and will continue do so." He smiled at me crying. "I do this for you guys. I won't be here without you either." I pulled him into a hug. Him whispering comforting stuff to me, which made me cry more. After I was done and gave him a grateful smile getting out of the car. As soon as we were out of the car he put his arm around my shoulder and we walked in the restaurant finding everyone waiting with curious and worried expressions. At that moment I knew I just found a second home.