Mormor - 3 Acts

3.

My sincerest apologies for this.

There's a red light blinking on the phone. His special phone. The one he should have thrown into the Thames the day he disappeared. The day he left everything else behind as well.

But he kept the phone.

The red light blinks.

He picks the phone up reluctantly, sits down before he unlocks it, runs a hand through his hair and a thumb over the small shiny display. This is only the second time this happened but​ he knows it won't end well. It hasn't the last time either.

There's only one person calling him on this phone.

He presses play.

For a moment everything is white noise. Then a shaky breath, already enough to make his stomach curl with the familiarity of it all.

"...Hey. It's me again."

The voice is quiet and throaty and his hand cramps around the phone, a bit more and he could break the plastic. For a moment he wants to throw ot away and smash it, do everything to stop the recording.

"I'm not sure if you got my first message, so I thought I'd just...try again."

He doesn't break the phone. The moment passes and he covers his eyes with his free hand. There's a quiet noise, a bottle being placed on the floor, another deep breath. A pause. Then:

"You probably know the date."

Of course he does. 23rd of January. How should he forget that?

Sebastian clears his throat.

"I didn't go out and start a fight. Know you hate it when I do that. I'm not even drunk yet. But I'm...I'm home."

He can taste the bitterness through the phone.

"And I just wanted to ask when - when you're planning to come home."

A choked noise and something inside of him turns ice cold because this is impossible. Sebastian never cries.

A few seconds of silence, the bottle being placed on the floor again. There's music playing in the background and Jim lets himself get distracted and tries to figure out what Sebastian is listening to for a moment. It sounds like Händel or is it Vivaldi? Jim's music.

"...You know - home to me. At least I always thought I was home to you." He trails off, a bitter chuckle.

More tears.

"So, if you could let me know that would be nice."

There's a bit of shuffling, a muttered Russian swear, breathing. The click of a lighter dies away after a few times. Sebastian always forgets to refill​ them.

Again breathing.

"I went to the cemetery today. Brought you lilies. Know you'd like them."

He's crying again. Tries to control himself.

Sebastian.

"Just...just come home, Jim. Please. Come back to me. I miss you, I -"

Stop.

He places the phone on the table so carefully that it might be made of glass. His fingers are shaking violently and he curls them into fists to suppress it.

Come home.

He glances down at the folders covering the floor, the newest pictures of Holmes, photographs of the wedding, an article about the guard he saved.

Jim feel the sudden urge to burn it, all of it, throw the folders and pictures away. What is he still doing in this rathole anyway, hiding and planning an entrance he might never do?

Sebastian.

He looks up, absently reaches for a DVD case on the table. They recorded the message yesterday.

Did you miss me?

Its too early. No, it's too late, too late to make up for the damage he has done.

Sebastian.

Jim wants  to go home.

(Pst: there's a fluffy epilogue coming)