Mormor - 3 Acts

Epilogue

I was beyond flattered to hear how many people liked and cared for this story and asked for the last part, so here it is, after about half a year! Thanks so much for reading and kicking my arse to finish it, without you demanding it I'd probably never have finished it. So i hope you enjoy this ♥ (and yes, I just had to add Shakespeare. Don't judge me please)

Jim had spent hours exploring Sebastian's body. Days probably, all in all. Before and after the sex, when he had patched the sniper up after a job - probably the same amount of times for both occasions - or when his bodyguard had been sleeping next to him, mumbling nonsense and his permanent frown only easing when Jim ran his fingers gently through his hair.

There was a time when he had flattered himself to know every inch of the other man's body, every mole and scar, every unevenness in his skin, the way his torso moved when he was breathing and the feeling of his calloused fingertips on the side of Jim's face.

"I can feel you staring."

Sometimes he believed that even Sebastian's voice sounded differently. Jim stepped closer, reluctantly, eyes still on the other man's bare back. The time when he could've described Sebastian's body with his eyes closed was very obviously over.

White and long or pink and harsh, barely healed, new scars that he had never touched standing out against tanned skin. Jim hadn't asked where Sebastian had been, London had been grey and rainy for the past two weeks, no chance to walk around shirtless, let alone get a tan. But he doubted that he would get an answer anyway.

"I don't like it when you keep things from me, boss."   Was that how Sebastian had always felt?

"Don't sit around shirtless if you don't want people to stare" Jim replied easily and stepped into Sebastian's field of view, setting the bags down on the table. Just that Sebastian wasn't looking at him.

He had taken a shower while Jim had been away, the hair on his neck was still damp and curly. Jim bit his tongue to suppress the urge to reach out and touch it.

"Can you stop fucking groping me, tiger?" - "Sorry, boss."  Had Sebastian always felt like this? And never complained?

Sebastian didn't even bother to reply to Jim. His gaze was fixed on the laptop in front of him, frowning slightly in concentration, his right elbow resting on a file. Maybe he had closed it when Jim had entered the room. Or maybe he was just being paranoid.

"Busy?" Jim asked just to make conversation and his stomach clenched slightly, picturing Sebastian in the door frame of his study, shirt half unbuttoned and wearing a crooked smirk , just for Jim.

"Obviously" Sebastian murmured and ran a hand over his face and Jim could have mouthed the words along. The sniper looked tired, then again he had looked tired most of the time lately. Ever since Jim had come back. He shook his head and wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all, the reversed roles and the awkward silence between them that was only interrupted by Sebastian typing an e-mail. Jim couldn't help but watch his fingers move.

Sebastian looked up eventually and smiled slightly, eyes grey and a bit of stubble on his chin. He had cut himself shaving and then given up completely. Jim could see the angry red line on the side of his jaw.

"What did you get?"

"Chinese." Jim opened the plastic bags and took take away boxes and chopsticks out, piling everything on the table next to Sebastian's laptop and files. Thankful that he had an excuse not to look at him. It had used to be Sebastian's job - and one of his main worries - to provide Jim with food. 

The smell of fried chicken and rice filled the room, Jim's stomach growled and made Sebastian smirk.

"You haven't eaten your breakfast. I've seen it in the bin."

Jim looked up in surprise and watched Sebastian close the laptop, put the files neatly away.

"No work while we eat, Jim."
"Clean your stuff away, Jim."
"I made a sandwich for you, please eat something, Jim."

"Wasn't hungry" Jim murmured and opened the box with an x on it. Extra sauce. He picked the chopsticks up with practiced movements and poked them into the mass of rice, meat and vegetables. The silence wasn't uncomfortable while they ate, most of all it was painfully familiar. Just like the way Sebastian looked at him now.

"So" Jim dwelled after a moment without looking up from his food. "Got anything I can do? Any jobs that need to be taken care of, Mr Moran?"

It was only half a joke and Jim was relieved when he saw Sebastian lean back on his chair and give him a smile that showed too many teeth. "Why, you getting bored already?"

It was still hard to process. When Jim had left the best he had expected was for Sebastian to find somebody else to serve, the worst for him to drink himself to death. He hadn't expected Sebastian to take over the network and keep going.

"I'm a soldier, Jim. I need a purpose. Something to fight for."

And all the stories Jim had heard about his former second in command's rise to the top brought up the question if there was any need for him to come back. They both knew he wasn't here to help Sebastian. He wasn't here because Sebastian had missed him. Jim was here because he had missed Sebastian.

After they finished their take away dinner Jim got up to throw the empty containers and the used chopsticks away. He even thought about wiping the table for a moment before he shook his head at himself. He washed his hands and paused for a moment, standing at the sink with his hands on the edges of it. The sun was setting at the far end of London and made all edges smooth, illuminating half of his face and washing through the open door into the living room.

Jim felt Sebastian behind him before he heard him and when was the last time someone had managed to sneak up on him?

"Hey." He could feel the warmth of Sebastian's chest against his back, even though they weren't touching. Sebastian's voice was a low rumble, quiet and private now and for a moment Jim allowed himself to close his eyes and grieve what he had lost. Just that he hadn't exactly lost it.

"You threw everything away, Jim! Our life! Your home! Me!"

But self pity only gets you this far and before he could do anything stupid like beg for forgiveness Jim turned around and looked up into the sniper's face. Sebastian's expression took his breath away for a second. He looked so - open. Almost vulnerable, even though he was smiling and was that really his hand on Jim's cheek?

In a pathetic attempt to steady himself Jim looked down at Sebastian's tanned chest. Tentatively he reached up to run a fingertip over one of the scars he had never touched before. It was pale white and ran from the center of the sniper's chest down over his right ribcage. Jim half expected Sebastian to make a joke about how he got it but he didn't. Instead he leaned in to close the distance between them. Jim's hand found damp golden hair and Sebastian's fingers seemed to reach right through his shirt, bend his ribs open and close around his stupid little heart.

***

It's too much to be peaceful, too emotional to be alright, even though it is in the end. In the end Jim fits his hand against Sebastian's chest to feel his heartbeat, strong and regular and enough to keep both of them alive. Maybe that's what it all comes down to.

These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey Is loathsome in his own deliciousness And in the taste confounds the appetite. Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so. Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.

And everything is good.