Death's Curse Undone

Chapter 7 - Forgiveness

Chapter 7 - Forgiveness

Harry picked Draco up and carried him from the dungeon. Running a bath in the ensuite, he cleaned and healed the other man before placing him in his own bed before changing and joining him under the covers.

Harry did not understand this strange impulse to take care of Draco after their torture session. Never had he felt such an urge, such tender emotions towards the other man.

Even their Saturday nights together were awkward and forced. Draco's obvious joy at his presence made him uncomfortable. Laying with him made him feel guilty, as if he betrayed his wife, his Ginny. Draco was meant to be abused, to be tortured and raped. Being gentle with him had always nauseated him.

Yet being harsh with him had never felt right, either. Harry recalled. His sense of honour, such as it was, had never allowed him to let himself go - to take what he would not give - the entirety of their selves. But tonight, tonight Draco's words had set him free. For once he had not stopped to censor his words or actions; to check, every moment, to see if Draco had hit his limit. He had gone on and on, delighting in Draco's cries, in his beauty; until his heart was content - drunk on the exquisiteness that was his Draco.

And now he held his treasure in his arms. Healing him, guarding him. He did not want Draco permanently damaged. He knew, somehow, that such an act would leave him with unending rage and regret. So he cradled him close and healed the Healer and hoped for the best.

Draco woke feeling better than he had in a long time. For years he had lived with Harry. His life had been emptiness and shame - the burden of being someone's dirty secret. Before that, he had had the pressure and expectations of being the Malfoy heir. In between, he had known the mind-numbing terror of being an unwilling, unsuccessful Death Eater. This feeling, he guessed it was - contentment? It was something he'd never experienced. Even his nights with Harry had been fraught with anxiety as he watched the man like a hawk, trying and failing to prevent his unhappiness, his guilt. He had buried himself in his studies, in Potioneering and Mediwizardry and Healing but it had given him no succour. He became a Potioneer, the only ones who came to him were the ones who needed poisons. He became a Mediwizard, they sent him out as a paramedic. He became a Healer, they set him handling cases of injury and assault by rogue Death Eaters. Not for him, the innocent cases. The sick children, the household potions, the accidental injuries. Who would trust a Death Eater near a child or ask a murderer for Pepper-Up? No, he was damned by the mark he carried on his arm. The mark he had taken at his Father's insistence to save his Mother's life.

Draco turned over, only to realise that arms, familiar arms, encircled him. He froze. Harry. Harry was holding him. But... why? It wasn't their Saturday, was it? Draco's brows scrunched as he tried to remember what had happened. Harry had Flooed in... Whipping... Rape... Harry had said... Then he did something... All he had after that was a hazy recollection of more pain. Curses, he assumed. He was familiar with Harry's predilections after all. It was what came after that was driving him crazy. There had to have been something. He had to remember it! Harry had stayed, had healed & bathed him and held him through the night. This had never happened before. Even on their Saturdays together, Harry had always rolled clear after sex and curled up on himself, his back to him, as he slept. Had been curt and withdrawn on Sunday mornings, leaving as soon as he had assured himself that he had fulfilled his obligation to Draco. Draco needed to recall what he had done, so he could do it again. Anything that called forth this level of freely given care and affection from Harry was worth it, no matter how distasteful and degrading it may turn out to be.

Harry didn't want to wake up. But, someone was twisting and struggling in his arms. Why was Ginny... He blinked his eyes open as he remembered. Not Ginny. Draco. He'd stayed over. Had to stay over. Draco was hurt. His Draco was hurt. "Dray? Settle down.", he mumbled, not entirely willing to leave his nest, sleep still clinging to his mind and voice. He didn't even notice he'd used his private nickname for Draco, the one he used to himself when he felt unalloyed affection for the man.

Draco hadn't even realised that he'd started struggling as he tried to recall what had happened last night. Harry's words slammed into him, shocking him with equal parts of incredulity, self-disgust, hope and joy. I was struggling against him? I WAS STRUGGLING AGAINST HIM? He's going to think that I don't want him. Stupid, STUPID! How could I? How could I REJECT HIM? But wait - he didn't call me Malfoy... or Draco. He said 'Dray'. Dray? Did - did HARRY POTTER give me a- a NICKNAME? Why'd he give ME a nickname? Nicknames are for friends and lovers - Dear God does he consider me a lover? Could- Could he actually LOVE me? Mum said the curse wouldn't allow it. But, this is Harry. Harry never played by the rules. Could, could he love me?

Harry felt his companion's increased tension and reluctantly gave up on sleep. "Okay, okay we can wake up.", he grouched, unwrapping his arms from Malfoy. He briefly wondered why he wasn't feeling his usual animosity towards the man but decided to go with the flow. "You feeling better now?", he queried as he rose from the bed, "Stay in for a bit - I'll see to breakfast.", he added, wandering sleepily to the bathroom.

Draco gaped at his back. He felt like he had undergone a dozen highs and lows in the last couple of statements. The depths of regret and self-recrimination had been hit when Harry had disentangled them thanks to his apparent inability to lie still. This had been followed by the fear of Harry being upset with him for not letting him lie in in peace as he apparently wanted to. Finally, massive confusion blew all of it out of his mind. Harry was not mad? Harry was making him breakfast? Since when did Harry do ANYTHING like that for him? In fact, since when did Harry stay with him overnight when he didn't have to? And this morning - this morning had treated him as if he were a partner, not a burden, a partner - someone he CARED for - at least enough to feed him in the morning. The sound of the shower starting up brought him out of his ruminations and he suddenly realised that Harry would be out soon. As Draco fretted over what he'd do and how he'd behave, his Slytherin side came out to play. For years, Draco Malfoy had lived in a curious blend of constant terror and apathy - terror of displeasing Harry & losing their agreement and apathy for the knowledge that all his life would offer him would be pain. To be a Slytherin would have done him no good in such a situation and so it appeared as if his Slytherin side had gone into stasis leaving a man who studied and worked like an automaton - a man who could hardly be said to have a personality - a Ravenclaw, perhaps, with his multiple accomplishments; but precious little else. But now, something new had happened - he had been given an opportunity, a chance to change the status quo and the Slytherin that had wrangled the agreement rose again - this time to humanise himself in Potter's eyes.

Harry got out, made breakfast, ate it with Draco and Floo'd away shortly after to get dressed before going to work. Things seemed to have gone back to normal; this time when Harry came to stay the Saturday, he brought a suitcase.

Draco couldn't figure out what was happening. Was he truly that good? Or was something more at work? Harry tortured him more severely now; but he cared too. He would hurt him to near insanity but then care for him afterwards. Aftercare was something Draco had never experienced before but found to be truly enjoyable. He'd stay over too, and make him breakfast in the mornings. He had a share in the drawer and wardrobe space. His supplies mingled with Draco's and two toothbrushes sat on the counter. It didn't happen overnight but slowly Harry's life mingled with Draco's. It was not that he left Ginny but somehow, he extended over to Draco as well. Harry's mug appeared in the kitchen cupboard, Harry's favourites in the pantry, his favourite channel subscriptions alongside Draco's. Slowly, two lives meshed together and Draco learned to relax in Harry's presence. Oftentimes, he wondered back to the first time Harry stayed over and wondered what had brought him to this strange period of grace and wondered what would happen when it came to an end. Then he was invited to Christmas and then the son he bore Harry was invited to playdates with the brothers Ginny bore and then he was named godfather to a certain Lily Luna Potter and he learned never to doubt again.