the sun

my castle || 2

I woke up with ecstasy blooming all around me. I walked downstairs. My dad with his coffee working on something for his job. My mom sitting looking at the computer. My sister still in her bedroom sleeping. I made myself breakfast and sat on the couch. Is it too early to call him? Should I wait a day? Will he think I'm weird? A dozen thoughts flooded my mind. My sister walked downstairs yawning. "Good morning Elle," "Good morning mom. Can I go out with some of my friends to the movies today?," "Of course! Take your brother with you," "I don't think he'd want to go," I overheard them talking and hoped my mom would let me stay. The last thing I would want would to be to go with them and be teased. "Take him. He needs to get out of the house more. And maybe he can find a girlfriend. You knows how crazy he is. Thinking he's gay. God forbid," my mom mumbles that last part to herself. "Okay..." My mind whirled like a tornado. I walked into the kitchen. I wanted to cry. She knows how much it upsets me that she's not accepting. She stopped. "Hey Olly. You're going with your sister to the movies okay?" I didn't answer. Rage and fire was consuming me. I breathed. Counted to ten in my head and muttered,"Okay," don't let her consume your thoughts. I took another breath and calmed myself.
As I got ready I thought. They're gonna make fun of my outfit. I just knew. I changed about ten times before I finally decided on just wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I headed downstairs where my sister was ready to go in a crop top and shorts that seemed more like underwear. I rolled my eyes. "Come on Olly. Let's go," she talked to me as if I were a dog.
     As we arrived at the movies I saw her friends rushing towards her car. We got out of the car and I watched my sister get ambushed by her friends. We watched the movie and surprisingly I didn't get teased out of my mind.
Just the occasional whisper. "Why is he so weird," "Look at him," followed by stifled laughs.
     When we got home my mom was talking with my dad about how I'm gay and how she wanted me to change. My dad was mad and didn't want me to change . He thought I was perfect as myself. I wanted to be myself. I wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin. I didn't want my castle to be rebuilt in their visions. It's my castle.