cemetery drive -ferard-

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(Im sorry if this story is bad i don't sleep well anymore )

8:27 am, Gerard Way died in a car accident

I cried in disbelief of what I was hearing. He was gone forever, i would never be able to hug him again, there's nothing left to do then stay in my room and wear his clothes until i starve. My dad worried about me a lot, he would always put meals on the floor near my door but i would always give them to my friend ray. He would walk out of his house and hop the fence and take the food or just some because he wanted me to eat too. My house was two stories but my roof was flat and i put a latter near my bedroom so he could sit and eat or talk, i never answered much.

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"frank can you take a few bites of this please, you're dad is upset because he knows you're mourning but you cant die over this. You're the only one he has after what happened with your mom."

I picked up the plate of pasta and took five bites then put the plate back on the windowsill. I always left my window unlocked for ray hes like a therapist but not really. i feel slightly better talking with him. but he cant be here all the time to talk hes a busy guy he invites me to a lot of places but i don't want to leave my room.

"Frank please say something, i haven't heard your voice in weeks."

"thanks for being here for me."

ray smiled and picked up the fork and ate the rest of he pasta before leaving. i put the plate back on the staircase near my door, walked back into my room, and shut the door behind me. im afraid of the future. were born, we live, and then we die, and then hopefully were reborn at the end of it.

every now and then my dad will ask me if i want to play with my guitar while hes on drums but  i reply with

"no thanks but thanks for thinking of me."

then he would go back downstairs and practice his drumming by himself. but the only songs i could listen to are the songs i sing to gee and gees songs. he would record songs on a cassette tape then give them to me. he would cover David Bowie songs for me or his original ideas, he trusted me the most that's why he let me have them. i wouldn't let anything happen to them. 

i decided to visit Gerard's grave again, yesterday i sang to him, today im reading him a book. i took a look at my books and chose my favorite, "IT by Stephen king." its a classic that we both loved so i grabbed the book off the shelf and put on Gerard's old sweatshirt. its still too big but i don't care, i headed out into the living room to write my dad a note saying that i would be gone for an hour maybe. then i walked out the front door and hopped in the car, im glad my car still plays cassettes. i was on my way to the cemetery with my windows down and Gerard singing on the radio.

i arrived at the cemetery and i walked around, up and down the rows looking for his grave but i eventually found it then sat leaned up against the side. i ran my fingers over the engraved lettering and said

"good afternoon gee, i miss you a lot i would die for one of your kisses or one last hug. rays been talking to me helping me in a way but he says hi and he misses you too. i haven't eaten or slept since you died"

there was an awkward pause i couldn't speak.

"....im alright still just a little messed up from all this happening." i looked down at my book and watched a tear fall onto the books hard cover. i wiped it away and opened to the first page. i looked at the cover page and saw Gerard's drawings and i said to him,

"i remember when you drew this for me, you got bored at school and you took my book off my desk and drew a vampire and a cat. you told me the vampires name is frank and he likes guitar and his skeleton dog, skellypea. the cat was your idea of a way to travel to the world no one knows about, the one were you can be happy forever, like your own Neverland."

i gave up and started pouring tears, i slowly laid on Gerard's grave praying that i could have him back. i had to stop crying because i wanted to read to him before i left so i stopped having a fit , there were still tears but not as much as before. i opened the first page and started reading out loud so Gerard could hear. ————————————————————————

i reached chapter five then i deiced it was time to go home because the sun was setting. i closed the book and kissed Gerard's grave then stood up and brushed my pants off. i took one last look at the headstone before heading back to my car. the car was hot from sitting in the sun for so long but i didn't mind the little burn. i got in the car and started the engine, i sat there thinking about possibly everything in those few seconds. but i cleared my mind and started driving out of the cemetery not wanting to look back, to make myself upset. i got back home and went right back into my room not saying anything. my dog sweet-pea followed me upstairs, i patted my thigh and sweet-pea followed me into my room. i lifted her onto my bed and laid down, she licked my face then laid down with me. i eventually fell asleep with sweet-pea on my feet.

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