Ashes

Memories of a Lifetime

"Someone someday will find you and love you the way you are supposed to be loved." I told Anna.

Being a father is one of those hardships you would love to take. Every little detail, likes, dislikes and emotion is to be taken care of at ease. I chose to raise her up as a single parent. Not that I had to, It's been a funny journey so far. I had my own complains to life but that usually got settled for what I had got, Anna.

Being a professor at this University has been life in its own charm. We do look at stars and see different things, but no doubt I know one day, I need answers for such doings.

Anna is 26. She's pretty, happy and living her life well. Her wedding is in a week. Apparently, they both had some issues to talk about before being legal slaves for each other forever.

My little girl claims to solve every issue by herself. So.. me!

I still remember her first quarrel with the girls at school. She came home whining as to why was she the one to be wearing the yellow scarf on her birthday. Others are trying out the latest High School Musical outfits.

"It does not match with the dress. I look like a monster. Daddy, please get rid of this thing. I don't like it anymore."

But baby how do I tell you, You are so much like your mother when you just put that thing on.

I always had my ways clear and my fairylands created for her that never left her imaginations until she grew up. She was my first and she was the only one I had to have.

I am a Philosophy professor at Yorkshire University. My looks may form a mental imagery of a burglar at first, but trust me I do not do such a thing. It is my 27th year here and I wish to teach as much as I can. Professor Donald taught us when we were young and he passed away five years ago.

It's hard to love from all your heart for the first time. There are a few lucky ones who can hold on to it, otherwise this game gets a lot more interesting with age.

"Who likes growing up? We become adults after a while. I would hate becoming one but can't really change that. They look at you differently, something feels different. They start expecting from you. They no longer laugh on your stupid remarks. And after a while you become a part of their cruel world and repeat the drill." marked my presence in the eyes of Professor Donald on the first lecture on "Adultery".

I was seventeen when I moved here. Life, Novels, Byron, Plath and to a certain extent Keats used to appeal me back then. I was doing my majors in English, Psychology, and obviously Philosophy. How could life be any better.

People change us. An event, a moment, even a word can make us look at things differently. It took time for me to understand not everone deserves to know the gold in you.

Right now, I am sipping a cup of hot coffee and looking at the fireplace that needs some attention with the woodwork. Its pouring heavily outside and I wish she was here so that we could bathe our sorrows in the showers of destiny. At times the ones properly betrayed retrospect times when they were alive.

24th June, 1987. The day I wished to relive a little more, until my duties as a man are fulfilled. I wish destiny could be a lot more attractive. But no doubt, I was infatuated for a little while and she could see it.

Lucy.

A girl of her own realms and a piece of work God wished to work on.

She was my senior.

I captured that vibrant smile and put it into the fine lenses of my mind. It's been 27 years and she still lives young inside this wounded but fine heart of mine.