My Best Friend Bully ||✓|| Wattys 2017

III-I'm confused

James's POV

"I hate you since that day. You deserve it", she said after slapping me. That sound is the only voice in the silence. There was no one else over here. Just me and Jenna.

My head was aching bad. I didn't know why but I couldn't see her crying. That made my heart fall into a deep pit.

Why did I do this? This question was killing me inside.

She slapped me the second time. First was in 4th grade. Why am I hurting her?

I didn't react back on her slap. Those words left a great impact on me.

She hates me.

Yes or why wouldn't she, I harass her. I make her feel down. I make her school life hell.

I know I'm not this guy. This is not me. This is someone hiding from the truth, hiding from himself.

After that slap, I waited for her to say what she wants. I stood there still gazing at the ground. I didn't make a move. I don't have the courage to look right in her eyes.

I shouldn't have done this. The truth is that I'm a freaking coward.

I sensed that she was crying. Somewhere deep down I didn't want to do this.

After some moments I heard the car ignition. I knew she's gone. 

I stood there for a minute or two, rewinding everything that happened a while ago. I then located my car and walked towards it putting my hands in my jacket. I felt like punishing myself. I start to drive and in no time I reach home.

I rang the bell and mum opened the door. I walked up to my room, not looking towards her. She will ask me the reason for my blank look and I can't tell her or else she'll hate me just like Jenna does.

I ran up the stairs and made way to my room. I laid backwards onto my bed. Why did she affect me so much? I'm a bully. I shouldn't show sympathy. I shouldn't have emotions.

"James please let me sit", she said looking at me on the swing. "It's my turn", I say sternly. I drag myself front and back while looking at her. She is showing me those puppy eyes sadly . I cannot see her sad so I get up from the swing. "Here, take this", I say. Her eyes shine up and she smiles, "Really? Thanks James you're my best friend."
I run behind her and give her little push. She smiles over her shoulder to me. I smile back.
"James will you always be my best friend? ", she said. I gaze on the ground and then look up to her and I said,
"Always"

I regretted everything I did. I sigh at the memory before smiling through my mind. I closed my eyes shut before I hated myself more.

******************************

Sometimes situation makes you do something you hate doing.

Next day in school I couldn't match her eyes. I hid myself from her. I didn't do anything ahead. I saw Stephanie and Jacob on their mission. I don't have the courage to stop them. But I know I can't take it longer. I saw her during classes with her friends.

School ended with me hiding from her view. I don't know how to confront her after yesterday. I stood on the gate when I saw Jacob walking towards me. "Hey", he said and I greet him back. "Are you fine Jammie?", he said suddenly staring at me. "Yes I am", I said looking down. He then continued, "Shanaya is throwing a party today. So I'll catch up with you there. Don't be late okay".

I nod at him and in no time I see him disappearing. Jacob is my best friend now. He has been with me since many years. Whatever he is, he is always there for me. He understands me. I was friends with Stephanie just some years back. I met her with Jacob at a party. She was good then. I don't know what is happening to her now. Whatever it is, I shouldn't mind.