Dear Clara

Discovery

Dear Clara,

The war has dragged on another two months since New Years. My family and I have gotten less miserable but still there is the occasional crank. Marie started getting secret letters from a anonymous sender only she knows who it is and only I know she gets them. Anna has gotten so big she can talk and walk but in broken sentences and in wobbly steps. I continue to have disturbing nightmares about those wretched camps. Hannah cries more around this time because it's her parents anniversary and her little brother's birthday soon. She tells me that she's very frightened that her Family is dead and that she will always be alone. I tell her that she always has a home with us and then we hug like sisters which we have become.

I woke in a panic Hannah heard my screams and also woke up. In five minutes flat my Father, Mother and sisters were by my side. I had experienced that horrible nightmare once again, only this time I saw my parents not Hannah'. I drank the water Daddy had given me and talked about my nightmare then went back to sleep. This had become a regular thing for the Baker family.

"Kleine you mustn't scream all the time, some one might hear you." 

"I know Daddy but I can't help it, the nightmares are so vivid and realistic I can feel the hunger and pain of the people it's terrible." 

"Kleine they're just nightmares not real all in your head." Papa kissed me on the head and took my glass into the kitchen to clean it out. I closed my eyes and when I opened them it was morning once again. I came into the main room to see my Family and Mr. Hausser  gathered around the table they all were sad and didn't seem to notice me.

"Good morning Letty, come sit down I must explain something to you darling." Mama pulled me a chair beside her.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" I sat down and saw Papa wiping tears from his red puffy eyes.

"Letty dear, you remember Mr. Hausser's brother Johan right?" of coarse I remembered Johan he used to always come to visit with Mr. Hausser when we weren't in hiding. I nodded and a tear rolled  down Mama's gaunt face

"Johan won't be coming to visit anymore darling, the SS took him." I stared at my Mother in disbelief I couldn't understand why anyone would want to harm Johan. 

"I don't know why they wanted him and not me. Johan is my kid brother he's just twenty five! Why couldn't they take me I'm ten years older and he hasn't even gotten a chance to live his life." Mr. Hausser banged his fist on the table.

"Don don't say that, Johan will be fine." Mama handed Mr. Hausser a glass of water. 

"I have to go thank you for inviting me." Mr. Hausser  looked down and walked out. A I felt a lump in my throat and I painfully swallowed it down. 

"Mama why did they take Johan?" 

"I don't know Darling something about knowing information about some Jewish citizens." my Mother's words grew fainter as she spoke more and more.

"Jewish people, didn't Mr. Hausser own this bakery with his brother?" Marie looked around frightened and confused at my Parents. Everyone's faces drained completely of blood Mama looked at Papa, then out of no where we heard a gun go off. Hannah, Marie and I all jumped out of our seats and Anna started to cry. Papa covered Anna's mouth with his hand and told us to go upstairs.

We sat there in a corner Hannah and I huddled together tears silently rolled down my cheeks I was shaking. Mama was sitting in the opposite corner from us praying and rocking Anna. Marie was crying beside Papa holding a piece of paper. Papa had turned silent with fear his face serious and straight.

We spent our whole day shaking with fear in that attic waiting for the hours to tick by. After the gun shot we heard nothing but were to scared to move. We heard the secret knock on the door Papa went downstairs to ope the door.

"I want everyone as silent as possible no noise." he whispered. I silently prayed and hoped to God that we would live another day. 

"Oh George thank God, it's awful Don he-he," I heard a women's voice from downstairs it was hoarse and sad.

"Barbra what happened?" the voice Papa was speaking to was Mrs. Hausser.

"He killed himself!" Mrs. Hausser let out a loud sob and we could hear her cries.

"What? But he was with us this morning." Mama signaled us to stay there and walked downstairs to join the conversation.

"Barbra it's okay calm down Hon, grief took him you have to be strong for your children." 

"He shot himself, left directions on how to get to your hiding spot." I looked over at Marie at once we thought the same thing.

"He left directions? What if the SS heard the shot and found them?" my Father's voice sounded loud and you could hear the betrayal.

"I know I have them now don't worry I can keep them safe." I heard footsteps and then the door shut.

"She's going to sell us out to the SS!" Papa's voice was full of anger.

"George why would she do that?" 

"Because she needs money and the SS already know that the Haussers might have some Jews on their hands! She's playing with our lives, she's playing with our children's lives!" Papa banged his fist on the table.

"George calm down if we are caught we will strive to survive." I heard my Mother's soothing voice calming my Father. I played that voice over and over in my head and fell asleep on the floor.

*****

"Violet wake up!" I opened my eyes to see Marie shaking me awake. 

"What?" 

"You're going to miss breakfast." I followed my sister down to the table. We had a normal breakfast then when I was washing Anna's face off we heard a women screaming.

"Don't hurt me I know where there is some Jews here are directions to find them and here is some money for your troubles." the pitiful women cried.

"Get out of my sight!" I heard the harsh tone of a SS guard and froze in my steps.

"Mama?" I looked over to my Mother for help but she couldn't do anything. 

"Everyone get your things together they'll only give us ten minutes at the most." Papa had a look of betrayal on his face and spoke very seriously. I followed my dad's orders I was halfway done when the SS knocked down our door.

"Good you're already packing." the guard had a satisfied smile on his face and told us five minutes and we were to be marching out the door. I packed my clothing and some other things that I thought I would need.

"Hurry up Jews! I don't have all day!" the guard barked his tone made me move ten times faster and I started to shake. 

We were loaded into a car and off to the train station where they took us to a cattle train. We were not safe, but we where never safe.