True Purpose

c h a p t e r 14

Hassan was hurt. He couldn't help but feel hurt. He knew that he couldn't blame Zaynab for flinching when he put his hand on her shoulder because he understood her situation, her past. But at the same time, he was a human being.

He had always dreamt of having a nice, romantic relationship with his wife. He did realise that marriage wasn't a bed of roses, but at the same time, after years if preserving himself and overcoming haraam temptations, he wanted to have a passionate relationship with the woman he would marry. Yet, that seemed impossible what with his current situation.

But Hassan knew he had to win her over, as difficult as it was. He was going to make things work between them. He was going to make sure he ended up getting the relationship he had always desired. And he trusted Allah for that. Because it was Allah's plan anyway that he married Zaynab, and Hassan always respected what Allah had planned for him.

He checked his watch, only to do a double take. It had been over an hour since he left his room. He was pretty sure that Zaynab would be asleep by then, and he knew he had to also go to sleep because of his work the following morning, so he put down the game controller and headed upstairs to his room.

He got inside the room, and saw that Zaynab was actually asleep, just as he had assumed. He looked at her sleeping form, and felt his heart melt a little. No matter how she behaved towards him, he couldn't help but like her. And he knew it wasn't her fault that she was behaving the way she did. It was because of everything she had been through.

He got in bed and lay down. Sleep was just taking over him when he heard a scream next to him.

"MUM! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

Hassan got startled and got up, looking at the source of the scream. Zaynab, who was now awake, was shaking violently, her breathing was ragged, and she was crying.

"Zaynab! Zaynab! Are you okay?" Hassan immediately asked, his voice filled with concern.

Zaynab didn't reply. Instead, she shook her head. And right then, Hassan knew that she definitely was not okay. Because every time he asked her if she was okay, she always answered in the affirmative, even if things were not right. But for once, she shook her head. For once, she wasn't okay.

Hassan remembered what had happened that morning after the night of their wedding. Their entire conversation played in his mind, and somehow, he knew there was a connection between what she told him and what just happened to her right then.

"Where do I start?" Zaynab had whispered.

"How about from the beginning?" Hassan had answered.

"My father passed away before my very eyes when I was four years old. He suffered from a myocardial infarction," Zaynab began.

"Myocardial infarction?" Hassan asked. "That's a heart attack, right?"

Zaynab nodded. "Yes. It was all of a sudden. He must have had some sort of cardiovascular problem or something, but I was too young then so I didn't really know. His death got both, my mum and I, shocked. But the shock my mother suffered from was so severe, it ended up disturbing her mental stability. She developed a clinical depression. You know, major depressive disorder? She ended up with that," Zaynab paused.

Hassan had taken in everything she was saying, and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Zaynab wiped her cheeks roughly, then went on. "I was told my mother's mental health is not suitable for her to look after me. So I had to be taken care of by a legal guardian. And guess who that was?"