True Purpose

c h a p t e r 10

"Something is wrong. She has had a rough past. I can tell from her behaviour," Hassan said, the next morning.

Zaynab was still asleep. He had woken her up for Fajr, and she woke up but to his surprise and slight disappointment, she didn't know how to pray. He had wanted to pray the nafl salaah that newlyweds prayed on their wedding night but when he called Zaynab, she had fallen asleep. So he just resorted to running his hand through her hair. She didn't wake up, anyway, so he decided that he would pray the nafl with her during Fajr.

During Fajr, he had taught her how to perform wudhu and then he had made her put on a jilbaab and taught her how to pray salaah. She prayed Fajr behind him, and then they also prayed the nafl salaah. He was feeling a little upset that he couldn't pray it as per the sunnah - during the wedding night only - but he didn't show it to Zaynab. He knew that she had problems of her own. Problems which could explain why she was a Muslim yet didn't know Islam. He was understanding, and besides, his deen did teach him not to judge people. He couldn't judge Zaynab. But he knew he had to change her. He wanted her to seek contentment in Allah. And now that she was his wife, he wanted to go to Jannah together with her.

After Fajr, he told Zaynab to go back to sleep. She seemed really tired anyway, and he could understand that the wedding day must've been a stressful day for her. As for him, he went to his sister Yusra to speak to her.

Hassan was very close to Yusra, and he could confide in her easily. She always seemed to hear what he had to say.

"How has she been behaving?" Yusra asked him.

"Well, for starters, she's very scared. Last night, after showing her the room, I went to speak to Yasir about some important stuff. So when I came back to the room, she was sleeping on the floor. She was terrified when I woke her up, thinking I was her aunt. And then when I asked her why she slept on the floor, she avoided the question. Finally, she admitted that she was scared that I'd get angry if she slept on my bed," Hassan narrated.

"What else makes you think she's scared?" Yusra asked.

"Have you heard her stammer?" Hassan asked.

"Well, she hasn't really talked much to me, but no, I haven't heard her stammer," Yusra replied.

"See, that means she doesn't have a natural stutter in her speech. She stammers only in certain situations. My assumption is that she stammers when she's talking to someone she's scared of," Hassan explained.

"So if she stammered around you, does that mean that she is scared of you?" Yusra asked him.

"Yeah. I think so. But last night I told her not to be scared of me," Hassan said.

"Hassan, I don't mean this in a bad way, and I'm sure you understand it. I only have your best interests in mind. But do you think you did the right thing by marrying her?" Yusra asked.

Hassan pondered over Yusra's question. He understood that she didn't mean it in a bad way.

"Well, let me be frank with you. I had always wanted a pious wife, you know. Someone who prays five times a day and a hijabi and all. I know that Zaynab is not exactly pious, but I don't mean to judge her. But I also know that Zaynab is a great girl. And I will change her In sha Allah. I'll make her a good Muslim. I already made her pray Fajr. Now I need to keep this up with all the salaahs, until she herself realises the importance of them. I'll make her start hijaab. I'll make her realise the importance of deen. I'll teach her Qur'an. I'll do everything to make her the kind of wife I want in terms of piety.

As for the fact that she's scared, Yusra, I know she's broken. She's had a bad past and her fright is enough to tell me that. I'll make sure that she leaves her past behind, and only focuses on the present. Her fear needs to go, and I'll work on that. Even if it means that I have to get to the bottom of why she is the way she is.