Chemistry (L.T.)

Chapter 24

Alexia POV

"Why do you think people pretend to be someone they aren't?" I ask out loud as I set down my plate and take a seat in the booth next to Marie. Zayn slides in across from me and raises his eyebrow.

"Not the usual start to our dinner conversations." He says with a laugh.  "But you know I'm always game for some deep conversations. 

"That's why she asked you Zayn" Marie chimes in.  "You didn't see her looking in my direction now did you?" I give Marie a look of sympathy. Marie and Zayn had become quite close after I had introduced them to other and although the two were polar opposites, they were the perfect balance of friends for me.

"What's got you being all philosophical?" Zayn asks and then takes a bite of his sandwich.  It had become an evening ritual, the three of us eating dinner together, but our conversations rarely revolved about topics like the meaning of life.

"Louis Tomlinson." Marie says smugly.

"Marie!" I nudge her with my elbow and look at the people in the surrounding tables to make sure no one had heard us.  No one appears to be paying any attention to the gossip at our table.  "Declare it to the whole cafeteria why don't you?"

Marie just laughs.  "Calm down Alexia, no one can hear us, and even if they could they don't know the context of the situation. 

"Does it have something to do with the other night?" Zayn asks questioning.  It's then I remember that I had mentioned having an eventful night to him at the coffee shop but had yet to fill him in. 

"Well that and now last night ."

"What happened last night?" Marie almost shrills. I give her a mortified look and she quiets down to a whisper.  "Sorry, what happened last night? Why didn't you tell me?"

"You went home for the evening and just got back, it wasn't super pressing." I say trying to get Marie to back off me for a moment.  That girl did not like being left out of the loop. 

"Please explain." Zayn says with a confused look.  

"He slept in our room the other night." Marie states in, thankfully, a much more hushed tone.  I watch as Zayn's jaw literally drops. I roll my eyes.  Marie needed to work on her storytelling abilities.  Like a lot. 

"Because I picked him up from a party and he was drunk and didn't know where he lived." The words fly out of my mouth at a million miles an hour as I try to explain to Zayn exactly why this situation had occured in the first place. 

"Why did you pick him up?" Zayn asks.  The question I've asked myself a million times over the past forty-eight hours. 

"He didn't have anyone else" I say, but it comes out as more of a question than an answer. 

"And he tried to kiss her." Marie interrupts as if this piece of information is vital to Zayn's comprehension of the story. 

"What about Niall?" Zayn asks looking totally lost. 

"We are good. Marie's exagerrating a little bit." Although I loved Zayn to death and considered him one of my closest friends at college, I knew that this was one of those times when a little girl drama could be left out.  Some of the details would only confuse the poor guy even more than he already was.

"Anyway, now that Zayn is all caught up, can you please tell us what happened last night?" Marie asks.  I give Zayn a questioning look and he nods his head with a smile, telling me its okay to go on.

"Well, you were there when he asked me to work on the project.  Which hasn't happened a single time since we started it."

"I still can't believe you got stuck with him, Alexia.  That was so messed up." Zayn adds in.

"I know.  But I show up, and he is already there.  He's never there on time. He's always late to class, even the very first day. Then he was like super nice and helpful.  We got so much done and it was actually kind of fun.  He also was super apologetic about the other night and kept saying how he felt like was pretending to be someone he wasn't and...."

I look up to see Marie and Zayn giving me wide-eyed looks.  "I was rambling wasn't I?" I say with a laugh. 

"Just a bit" Zayn says with a smile.  "It's okay, I think I got all of it. "

"And I don't know it was just like he was a completely different person, like I was hallucinating the whole thing or something. And then I kept thinking about him.  Like all of last night and all of today. I just can't figure it out.  Is he really just some super nice guy hidden under all this other stuff and now that he is not with Erica he can be himself? Is it just a nice guy act?"

"I've said it before, I'll say it again.  You like him Alexia." Marie says.

"Marie, I've told you..."

"Alexia, listen.  You are someone that always has it together.  You are one of the most genuine, self-motivated and reasonable people that I have ever met.  You are not the type of girl that has a boyfriend but is infatuated with someone else.  I get it.  You are having some kind of inner turmoil about what you want and you find Louis so intriguing but Niall is safe and the right thing to do.  Because let's be honest, if this was any other lab partner you wouldn't care what kind of person they were you would just care about getting the homework done."

I take a minute to process Marie's words.  She's got my mind figured out perfectly and she had a point.  Why did I care so much about who Louis was as a person anyway?

"Marie's  right.  Why do you find Louis so intriguing Alexia? Why do you care?" Zayn asks.

"That's an excellent question." I say not quite sure of what my answer would be.  "I guess its just that he is so complex, and that I see glimpses of like this totally different personality than everyone else sees.  Plus, he definitely has a lot of secrets."

"Here's what I think Alexia.  I think that you need to figure out what you want.  I think you need to think it through.  If all you are going to do is think about Louis, then you need to break up with Niall.  It is not fair to him to have you only giving him half your energy when your mind is in another place and it is not fair to you to waste your time with someone that you aren't interested in.  And if Marie's right, and you really do like Louis then you also need to consider whether that's something you want to get involved with.  I've never seen a different side of him than the cocky jerk that comes to lab late everyday, so there's no gurantee that he's some sweet gentleman underneath.  You say he's got a lot of secrets.  Are those things that you really want to get involved with? Once you know something, its very hard to unknow it.  Secrets are secrets for a reason, and before you go snooping for answers be very sure that you are ready for the secret to come to light.  And if what you say is true and you don't like Louis and its just curiousity, let it go Alexia.  Do the work and be done.  Enjoy your time with Niall.  Don't waste your time thinking about someone that may not be worth it." Zayn says. 

Nothing like escalating the internal conflict even more.  I take a sip of my water taking it all in.  I guess I did have some thinking to do.  They were both right, this was eating me up inside and I needed to sort it out.  One way or another. 

"So to answer that philisophical question of yours" Zayn starts.  "I think people pretend to be someone they are not for a lot of reasons.  Maybe they want to hide who they really are, maybe they know that acting a certain way can get them what they want, or maybe they just don't know who they really are.  But when it comes to Louis Tomlinson and which of these is his reason, or whether he really is pretending to be someone else, I don't have an answer.  That's something that is going to take a lot of work to figure out.  So my question to you, Alexia, is...is it worth all of that work?"

*********************
Just a short little update today! Hopefully will be working to post another sometime this weekend!