Chemistry (L.T.)

Chapter 35

Louis POV

"Where have you been all night?" Harry raises an eyebrow as I burst through the door of our apartment just before midnight. I throw my backpack to the ground and fling myself across the black leather couch opposite the chair Harry is sitting in. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until now.

"I went to the lab to work on my project." I say with a sigh.

Harry lets out a laugh, the laugh he does when he doesn't see through an ounce of the bullshit I am telling him. "Right, you went to the lab and that's why you absolutely reek of sweat."

I turn my head to give him a glare. 

"You have an absolutely awful poker face Tommo, I'm surprised you ever get away with hiding any of your secrets." A smirk forms on Harry's face, showing those dimples Leah obsessed over on a daily basis.  In my opinion, the problem wasn't my pocker face but the fact that Harry knew me so well that it was impossible to fool him. 

"Fine, I did go to the lab. But then I went to the practice field and played some footie."

"With who?" Harry questions, but I can tell by his face he already knows who it was.  

"Alexia." I say, her name rolling off my tongue like honey. I picture her face as she scored a goal on me, the pure shock and happiness. It had been a good night, one of the best I'd had in a while.  

"So what you are suddenly best friends with the girl? I thought she hated your guts."

"She's just going through a rough time, I thought maybe she could do something non-academic for once.  You nerds never leave anytime for fun you know."

Harry fakes an offended look. "Who are you turning into anymore Lou?"

"Don't really know if I'm being honest." It's true that lately I hadn't been myself. Or maybe it was the reverse. Maybe only lately had I begin to show my true colors. For so long I had been the lonely boy with the messed up past. The boy that had developed walls of steel to surround him from any further harm. For Harry to notice meant things had really changed. Harry had known me for most of my life, watching my past transform me into a new person. And now he was starting to see the glimpses of who I could have been, who I should of been if my life hadn't turned to shambles at such a young age.

"Well for what's it's worth Lou, it's a good change. It's like a new and improved version of your old self. Heck, soon you won't even need my help with Chemistry." Harry says with a laugh.

"Well I don't know about that." I reply. Harry raises an eyebrow but doesn't respond back.

"Well I think I'm going to head to bed man, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Night mate" I say as Harry runs a hand through his head of curls and heads to his bedroom. I lay on the couch for a while longer, contemplating my life.

The silence hung over me for a few minutes, and flashbacks of my childhood played through my mind. The early days of kicking the football across the lawn with my dad. My mom calling to us that it was time for dinner, and me begging for just five more minutes so I could score another day. The sound of my sister's cheers from the sideline as I made a brilliant steal off my dad. The simple moments. The good moments. The moments that I wanted to play over and over in my head.

I realize now that tonight had been more important than I first realized. I'd never mentioned my parents to anyone at university, besides Harry of course. Sure, Alexia didn't know the whole story or even the half of it. But for some reason that small moment under the stars where I let her get a glimpse of my soul felt so intimate. I hadn't had a moment like that before. Not with anyone. Definitely not with Alexia. 

I didn't know what to think about her anymore honestly. It was true that I found her absolutely beautiful, and though at times I found her personality absolutely unbearable, it was starting to grow on me. She'd changed since I'd first met her; the girl who wanted everything to go perfectly was slowly starting to melt away, with a new girl forming underneath. I think I liked this new girl better, a girl that was honest and real and wasn't being anyone but herself. That's the kind of girl that I needed in my life. That's the kind of guy I wanted to become. 

She's not interested Louis, my internal monologue argues back. I knew it was true. Although little by little we had begun to bond, I knew that there was still a part of Alexia that hated my guts. That part would probably persist for awhile, if not forever. I know that I should drop it, having feelings is what hurt me so bad in the first place. That's why I built such a wall up when I got to America, to block those feelings out and keep them from ever dampening my mind. I was toxic to her, she needed someone who wasn't a jackass half the time, who actually would have a successful life after college, who was susceptive to her feelings. She needed a Harry, the guy every girl wanted to bring back home to her parents. She didn't need someone like me, with a past full of dark and twisty secrets and an identity crisis. 

If all this was true why couldn't I seem to wipe those bright green eyes out of my mind? Why couldn't I think of anything else but her hair cascading over her shoulder as she lay beside me? Why I couldn't I wish for things to go back to the way they were a few weeks ago? Why was Alexia Hollaway taking over my life?

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Yay finally had a chance to update! I know its not a lot, but I promise in the next week I will update at least once (hopefully more!)

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