Little things

Chapter 1

I closed the lid of my laptop as i completed today's task of my online job, letting out a deep breath. My eyes were strained and my shoulders were hurting, online jobs aren't easy. 
I threw myself on the bed, my hands stretched outwards, trying to welcome today's entertainment time with a big warm hug that was on hold and by entertainment, i didn't mean rave parties or night clubs, i mean pizza and Netflix.

Yup that's my life in a nutshell.
I took a deep breath and pushed myself off the bed.

For the first time in 2 weeks, i was able to keep the thoughts of the past few days aside and just focus on what i have right now, which is pretty much nothing but i will pass.

Just when i was enjoying the thrilling scenes of Jessica Jones, the doorbell rang making me jump a little.

Frightened, I pressed the pause button and kept the earphones aside. Even though it felt a little bright on the inside today, no sunlight has passed through the tightly shut windows, the dried leaves at the doorstep are still in the same direction as they were 2 weeks ago, the spiderwebs are still hanging on the walls of this new house i moved in to and my neighbors probably think i am a deadman.

My thoughts jumped back and forth debating on whether or not i should open the door. The roughly painted walls of the house could calculate the rate at which my heart was beating at this moment.
*ting tonggg*

The bell rang again.
I shrugged off all the pointlessly scary thoughts and manned up, just not enough to attend the person at the door without an over-sized hoodie that covered my hands and every single feature my face.

As my shivering hands held the golden door knob, giving the idea one last thought, i pulled the door, silently praying not to regret this later.
"Pizza delivery sir" the young man in a red cap said with a grin.

I let out a long sigh and rubbed my hands over my face in a relief. It totally slipped out of my mind that i placed an order for a pizza.

The night was getting darker and so were my thoughts. I was laying on bed, with my eyes wide open hoping for sleep to be blessed upon me but the flashbacks of that cold December night didn't allow me to fall asleep. I tried to shrug those thoughts off but it just wasn't working anymore. I sat up straight on my bed, held my head in my hands and tried to take control of the rising rage inside me. I want to go back to how things were, a perfect family with a well constructed house which echoed the laugh of my beautiful baby sister every minute.

And this is where i am right now.

Left over food boxes resting in the middle of the lounge, an online job, online shopping, online grocery, and above all, absolutely no contact with any of my old friends. 
Suddenly, i realized how miserable my life is and the darkness in the house was starting to suffocate me. I slipped into my over sized hoodie, covering my face and hands, and without giving it much thought i stepped outside my wooden door, that has been begging me to do so since a while now.
As the cold wind brushed against my skin, the ends of my mouth curved upwards. I took a long deep breath, not  getting enough of this fresh air. I stretched my hands horizontally and threw my head backward, mentally screaming, "oh humans of the planet earth, i have stepped out side my cave! You all may acknowledge my existence." But ofcourse i didn't mean it literally.
The Cannon Beach was on a 15 minutes walk from my house and as i walked towards the beach, i felt a muscle inside me freshen up every time i took a step forward. It wasn't just me walking properly after two weeks, it was me taking steps towards betterment. And in that moment, it truly felt like everything will be okay.

It was 2:00 am and there was no one at the beach, or so i thought.
As i walked closer and closer to the beach , my eyes refused to blink, my jaw froze and i felt silence inside my head. It was an awfully breathtaking view, one i haven't seen ever before. The reflection of the dark purplish-blue sky could be seen on the water as clear as a mirror, along with the desperate need of the moon to standout of all the glowing stars that decided to show up tonight in a form of a milky way.
I slipped my feet out of my shoes, rubbing them against the partly wet light brown sand and walked towards the ocean. As soon as the water touched my feet, my emotions geared up even more.

I collected a handful of water and threw it up in the air, closing my eyes and letting the drops of water slip down my face.

The ocean had a pretty hypnotizing effect on me. Suddenly i didn't care if anyone was seeing me, i didn't care what the tomorrow might be like, nor did i care about how i was going to live the rest of my life. It all felt extremely serene, inside and out. 

After a while, i sat on one end of a huge umbrella table that was placed in the middle of nowhere. I found myself lost in the splashy sound of the waves that formed at different parts and joined it's ends a little before hitting the shore just so it could look stronger than the previous one. I could watch this all day and everyday.
"Isn't it simply beautiful?" a low pitched voice from around questioned, snapping me out of my lost world. My eyebrows frowned and my heartbeat lost control.
"Holy Crap! Someone was here all this time?" i whispered to myself.
So much for taking a step forward.