A life worth living for

White walls.

(This is still part of the flashback)

White.

White walls.

#4 on my list if despised words.

I've never liked hospitals. Maybe it has to do with the fact my mom was constantly here, because of her job, and her death. But mainly because of the feel. All you feel is nervousness. From the family that was here years ago, from the unknowing fact if there daughter were to make it out if her coma, or from the brother who was her last night visiting his dad for the first time on his deathbed not knowing what he'd turned out to be.

Nervousness.

The word lingers everywhere.

I slowly open my eyes to see an astounded blond sitting in the plastic chair in the corner of the room.

His eyes where low with dark bags underneath. His dirty blond hair was sticking up in every direction. His chin was resting on his knees which were hugging close around in his arms.

I let out a small Chuckle

Niall's head shoots around with a worried but confused expression.

I start to sit up on the bed but am stopped with the sharp pain at my side. I look down to see it all bandaged up. Great.

"Why are you laughing?" His voice comes out horse

I glance up and shake my head. Still laughing.

"Because. You look funny. Plus you let them take me to a hospital."

"Autumn, I know how much you despise this place" he motions around the room "but I'm sorry. I'm glad I did. The glass cut deep into your sides. Along with the burns. You passed out because of the blood loss. you had to get stitches"

I look down. Knowing what he did was the 'right thing to do'

"Thank you" I mumble

He walked over and sits on the edge of the bed. Both feet tucked under his butt, and hands in his lap. He stares hard into my green eyes

"What are we going to do?" He whispers

We? what does he mean we? I'm not pulling him into this. I can't.

"We? Niall, I'm doing.." I hesitate for a moment and move my hands motioning to all of me

"...What ever I'm doing, alone."

A shimmer of hurt dances in his eyes before blinking it away.

He laughs.

I raise an eyebrow as he continues to laugh.

"What makes you think I'm letting you do 'whatever you're doing' alone?" he says using air quotes to mimic me. "No. Hell no. You're stuck with me" he gives me his best 4 year old smile and pats my head.

"Understand?"

I scoff at him

"Fine"

He stands up and smooths out his already wrinkled t shirt. "Good. Now I'm going to ask when you can go home" he pales "I-I mean leave because you can't- you'll stay with me but I don't mean-"

"Hey" I softly tell him. "It's alright." He gives me a weary smile and leaves the room. Running his hands through his hair as he leaves.

********

1 month

1 fucking month since the hospital.

1 month in Niall's room while he slept on this couch.