Suits and Dresses (Archer X Male!Crossdressing Reader)

Know Your Place

You came into the office today much happier than the day before. You reached your lifelong dream of becoming an agent ISIS and you got to fuck the World's Greatest Spy! Not to mention you're in his home now and he has been treating you... quite well to say the least.

You slipped into your cubicle which was right beside Cyril's office while Archer turned to enter his mother's office. But right before you two went your separate ways, the spy sneaked a small smirk in your direction before going inside. You grinned a little too hard before sitting behind your desk and sighing.

Per Mallory's orders, you weren't allowed to go on any other missions until you were properly trained which was reasonable coming from her. Thus, you were assigned to research world events and record intel and organize them into files. As you clicked through the sites uninterested, you came across an article titled WANTED: (F/N) STILL AT LARGE. You furrowed your brows as you clicked on the classified article. Photographs of your home as well as the Evening Ball and the freeway came up on the screen. You felt a pang of fear strike your chest as you quickly skimmed through the article. It hung over you like a large velvet blanket- enveloping you with anxiety.

"Hey stranger," you heard a slightly nervous, deep voice behind you accompanied with a hand on your shoulder.

"Oh hey," you span around to face the man with a small smile. "Who are you again?"

"Cyril Figgis, ISIS comptroller and field agent," he boasted proudly.

"Oh, so you're Cyril. I'm (M/N), pleasure to meet you," you flashed your iconic charming smile which... oddly seemed familiar to the man.

"Huh... I feel like I've seen you somewhere before... I just can't put my finger on it...," he scratched his chin, pensive. "But, great to meet you as well," he held out a hand which you gladly took and shook it.

"Don't let it bug you too much," you mused, spinning back around to face the computer. Speaking to him really did ease your nerves funny enough.

"So, what does Mallory have you doing now?" he slightly leaned against the top of your chair, looking over your shoulder.

"Meh, researching world events and gathering intel," you responded.

"Mm I see," he said before standing up straight and stretching. "Well, if you need help or anything, I'm right near your-"

"Blah blah blah blah! Jesus fucking Christ Cyril, you're gonna bore him to death," he heard that all-too familiar voice approaching from behind you two.

"I'm just getting acquainted with him," Cyril growled.

"Yeah! You can't just hog him all to yourself!" Pam loudly boasted, approaching your cubicle with a quite pretty red-headed gal.

"Mmhmm! It's not like he's already not staying at your house," the red-head piped up.

You were going to open your mouth to ask her name until Archer spoke up.

"I am not hogging him, alright?! He needed someplace to go!" Archer yelled.

"Oh yeah, as if your place is safer than your own," the soft whirring of a wheelchair was heard pulling up to the scene.

"Who the hell asked you your goddamn opinion, Ray?!"

"He has a point though, you're the so-called World's Most Dangerous Spy that everyone wants a piece of," Lana spoke through the commotion, perching herself on your desk.

"Hi Lana," you smiled.

"Hi hun," she smiled back.

Archer narrowed his eyes at the two of you. "So what- you guys are fucking now? Anyways, my place is classified so it's safe."

"Is it really? Mr. I Bring Call Girls To My House. Or should I say, Mr. My Worse Enemy Who Happens To Be a Bionic Man Knows Where I Live-"

"Look okay- I am the most capable of protecting him when push comes to shove. Besides-!" he turned to you. "Who was the one that saved your ass back at the Evening Ball?"

"Arch-"

"No, let him answer. Who did, huh?" he was approaching you slowly.

"You did," you sighed.

"Uh huh, and who was the one that saved you from getting shot by Castillo Benevici's men, huh?" he was standing right in front of you now and you had no choice but to look up at him.

"We get it Archer-" Ray began, but was instantly cut off.

"No no no- I wanna prove a point. Who did it? Because it certainly wasn't Lana nor Cyril."

"Hey, what do I have to do with this-?"

"Shut up Cyril. So c'mon- answer the question (M/N)," he stooped to your level, your faces achingly close to each other. A light blush creeped up on your face.

"You..." it came off very low and almost... sexual.

"Pfft! Phrasing," he chuckled, patting your head and standing up straight. "Alright so, point proven."

Mallory's door suddenly slid open, the older woman stepping out with a disgruntled facial expression, her right hand holding a glass of Hennessey.

"What the hell is going on out here?" she walked over.

"Sorry Ms. Mallory-" you began.

"Why are you guys crowding around (M/N) like this? I get he's attractive, but geez," she rolled her eyes.

You blushed. It did almost seem like a harem right now.

"We apologize, we'll let (M/N) get back to his work," Lana apologized, sliding off your desk and giving you a gentle pat on the shoulder. You swore up and down she was the best right now.

"Apologizing? Hmm, that's a first," Mallory observed.

"Don't get used to it. It was only for (M/N)'s sake," she flashed a small wink before walking off. That made you feel very happy for some reason.

"Alright, we'll be off. It was great talking to you... sorta," Pam smiled at you before walking off with the rest.

"Later (M/N)!" the redhead yelled too loudly before going her own way.

Everyone pretty much went their own ways save for Archer who leaned against your desk, staring you down with a smirk.

"Uh... can I help you?" you rose an eyebrow.

"You can actually," he sat on your desk, his legs spread. You can see a hint of a bulge beneath his suit pants. You flashed him a dead-panned stare.

"Here?" you asked.

"Huh?" he looked down and chuckled. "Of course not," he closed his legs just a little. He leaned down over you and in a flash, roughly grabbed the hair in the back of your head. You let out a startled yelp for you weren't expecting it. He came closer, his lips lightly brushing against your ear as you spoke.

"You've been getting a little too cordial with Lana, haven't you?"

"Huh?" your eyes widened. You literally just got here yesterday. Were you not allowed to make friends now? "What do you mean?"

He released his hold, you sheepishly rubbing the back of your head and neck.

"Look, I'm not saying not to talk to her- but keep your distance. None of that flirty shit, alright?" he said. "I already have my hands full with Cyril," he added with a scoff.

"Oh... alright," you sighed. That kinda hurt. Not only because of the Lana thing but because somehow deep down in that weird part of your brain you entertained the thought of actually being in a relationship with him. But hey, you barely knew each other and the sex was great so what did it matter? It was your lifestyle so this was nothing new. Now you knew your place. Archer hopped off the desk and gave you two good, hard pats on the back.

"Glad you understand. See you tonight (M/N)," he turned to walk off before looking over his shoulder at you briefly. "Oh, don't forget that dress," he winked before going on his merry way.

"Right...the dress," you smiled weakly before going back to your work with a lot on your mind.