Made complete

Part 1

I flopped down onto my bed feeling absolutely exhausted. Well that's another YouTube video filmed I thought. What's the point in it, I thought to myself.. I only have like 100 subscribers. I didn't feel like editing I just felt like going to sleep I had been up for only an hour and already started to feel the rain cloud above my head haunting me. But before I went back to sleep to dream of a better place, a better life I decided to check my email. An email from Bryan starz, with the subject as my digital escape join our collab channel. I opened it and it said: "Hey Alex, I've seen some of your videos and I really like them. You have a great personality and I think you are exactly the missing person for our collab channel. Think it over and email me back if your response! This could be great for your future on YouTube and you could meet some new friends." Under that he had linked the other members YouTube channels. One of them stood out to me. A guy probably about my age. Johnnie guilbert. His hair was black and he had piercing blue eyes. He looked like a younger Andy biersack. I decided to check out some of his stuff and some of the other members and form my own opinions about them before I decided to join the channel or not. I had already heard of Bryan obviously... He used to make interviews and then stopped for some reason. Nobody really knew why. First I decided to watch Johnnie's videos he seemed really cool and funny. Good thing that in Bryan's email he also put ways to get a hold of all of the members just in case I had any questions about the channel and what it was going to be about I guess, etc. I watched some of the other members videos then decided I was too tired and sad to make a decision that day about it. I'd rethink things once I had a good nights sleep. I mean why would Bryan want me to join anyways? I was a fake! I didn't even know who I was so how could he said I had a great personality when I was just putting on a show the whole time in front of the camera. I didn't know what in the hell I was doing or even who I was. They wouldn't want me in their collab channel I would just ruin everything like I do everything else. Plus I didn't even know if all of them were for LGBT+ people. And I was always changing my sexuality because I didn't know. They would judge me for sure. I cried myself to sleep that night, thinking about all the things that could go wrong.
Next Day
I woke up and immediately felt disappointed. In myself. That's how I was always feeling though. I had kind of gotten used to the feeling anyways. I remembered about Bryan's email and his offer and groaned. I didn't know what to do. A lot of people would be watching and I was fake. I was a phonie, nobody. Honestly I felt that I was less than nothing. I didn't have anything to offer anybody in the collab channel. Or the audience watching. It would be wrong to join. But then at the same time.. I didn't have any friends and Bryan's offer seemed genuine. Maybe it would get me out of my slump and I could finally just get on with my life. But what if that didn't happen? I would just be stuck in that channel with them raining on all of their parades. Or would it be one parade? Okay that doesn't really matter. What mattered was the decision I was going to make. So I decided to try and contact Johnnie. I mean.. he seemed pretty approachable and nice in his videos. And let's face it, he had a pretty nice face. So I went back to Bryan's email and found Johnnie's private Skype account. It had the other members too. But for some reason I wanted to get to know Johnnie before I got to know the rest of them. So I went onto Johnnie's Skype account and decided to send him a text through there. I thought casual and also professional was the best way to go so I put: Hey what's up. I'm Alex Dorame. I've been told by Bryan that you and the other members want me to join my digital escape. I just had a few questions. Then I hit send. Hopefully he responds soon I thought to myself. And to my surprise he messaged me back immediately. Johnnie: sure lets call and talk about it :) My heart immediately dropped. He wanted to call me? I hadn't even gotten dressed or brushed my hair. It was just a big mess of red. I got up out of bed and closed my laptop for a few minutes while I got ready. I put something on more appropriate (and cute). And brushed my hair then put it up out of my face. For my makeup I only put on foundation and mascara because I was in a hurry. I got back onto my bed and opened up my laptop and decided to call him. He immediately answered and I was greeted with a huge smile. "Hey Alex", he said.