Why does it hurt? -- DISCONTINUED

Chapter 3

Lila's POV

  I walked into my house. My mom wasn't home as usual. Probably hooking up with some other guy. I felt terrible. I practically dashed up the stairs into my room. I laid down on my bed and started bawling. Why do people just wanna get with me because I'm popular? I turned over onto my back and started thinking of Luke. He was different. He was in a band with 2 of my best friends and another really close friend. Ashton, my true bestie since kindergarten, introduced me to his band 1 year ago. Me and Luke hit it off immediately. We started dating a month later. Obviously, Ash seemed a bit pissed when he found out. But now he's super cool with it. I sighed. I needed relief.

I got out of bed and looked around in my bathroom for the razors. I felt good to finally be able to cut into my skin again. I've been cutting for 2 years. No one knows. I always felt bad for Luke, which is why I never told him. He's always so cheerful. I wish I was like him.

-3:00 am-

The new scars are already healing. I get ready to crawl into bed when my phone buzzes. I look to see who's texting me at this time.

Luke.

He is outside wanting to know why my bedroom light is on. (A/N: not gonna show messages again since you already saw them)

Me and Luke are meeting tomorrow at Starbucks at 9 am. I wonder why he's at Calum's? Whatever. He'll tell me tomorrow. I decide to make one more cut. I peek out my window to make sure Luke is gone. When I don't see his car, I turn my bedroom light back on. I walk back into the bathroom to finish what I started.

  I grab the razor and begin cutting. Not too deep, but deep enough. I breathe out a sigh of relief. I'm so lost in my thoughts that don't hear the front door open and close. Oblivious to the person calling my name repeatedly, I make another cut. I don't fully hear the person say my name until they are standing in the open doorway of the bathroom I'm in. "L-lila?" He chokes out. I look up and see the face I have seen since kindergarten. Ashton. "Lila?! Lila a-are you okay?!" He yells. "Ash-" I start to say. "W-why are you doing this?" He interrupts. I go silent. He leans down and plucks the razor from my hands. "Ash, I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do." I cry. He sets the razor on the bathroom counter. He sits down on the floor with me. "Shhh it's okay I'm here. It's all gonna be okay." He whispers. I put my head on his chest and start sobbing. He holds me. He places a kiss on my forehead. After a few minutes, he breaks the silence. "Does Luke know?" He asks. "N-no" I say. "Your gonna have to tell him, you know that right?" He asks. "I don't want to, though. I swear I'll stop" I say. "If you don't tell him, I will" he says. This makes me go silent. I'm getting blood on Ashton's sweater, but he doesn't seem to care. He looks at my cuts and all my other scars. I can tell he's trying not to cry.

  He reaches into the medicine cabinet and grabs bandage wraps. He covers my arms. "Thank you" I say quietly. He just hugs me. "I'm going to stay the night here, ok?" He asks. I nod. He hands me a pair of my Nike slip on sandals. I put them on and he grabs my hand. He walks me outside and opens his car door for me. I sit down and he closes the door behind me. I buckle my seatbelt. He drives to his and Luke's place. I remember that Luke is staying at Calum's. "Ash? Why is Luke at Calum's?" I ask him. "Uh, we had a little fight." He says. "Fight? About what what?" I ask, confused. He hesitates. "Uh..." he starts to say. I wait patiently. "I think he'd better tell you" he says finally. "Okay" I say. Weird. When we pull into the driveway, he has me wait in the car. It's been about 5 minutes since he went inside when I see another car pull into the driveway. I study it a bit more. I gasp and quickly climb into the back seats. I lay down on the floor. I text Ashton quickly.

To: Ashy☀️
From: Me
  LUKE JUST PULLED INTO THE DRIVEWAY. IM IN THE BACK SEAT LAYING ON THE FLOOR.

I send the message. I hear his car door slam. I wait a moment and peek out the window. I see Luke leaning against his car door with his head in his hands. Is he...crying? That's weird. Luke never cries. I'm getting ready to run into his arms and ask him what's wrong, but remember that he has no clue I'm here. I hear a ding from a phone. My phone is on silent, so it can't be mine. And I shouldn't hear Ashton's phone from here. I see Luke pull his phone out. He reads the text and has a weird expression on his face. His eyes widen and he suddenly looks around. No. It can't be. He looks in his backseat and...is checking the floor?! Shit. I pull out my phone and look at my messages.

To: Luke🐧
From: Me
  LUKE JUST PULLED INTO THE DRIVEWAY. IM IN THE BACK SEAT LAYING ON THE FLOOR.

I sent the message to Luke instead of Ashton. I hear the front door open. I look and it's Ashton coming out with a duffel bag in his hands. He sees Luke and Luke sees him. Luke storms up to Ash and shows him the message with a angry look on his face. "WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?!" Luke yells at Ashton. "Luke, calm do-" "NO ASHTON I WANT TO KNOW WHERE MY GIRLFRIEND IS! AND WHY THE HELL DO YOU YOU HAVE A BAG WITH YOU?!" Luke interrupts Ashton. Both are silent. Luke suddenly storms up to Ashton's car. Ashton's eyes widen. Shit. I hide my bandaged arms. I pull my sweatshirt sleeves over them. Luke gets ready to open the door. I close my eyes.