Acting in Love

August 9th

Ariana hasn't talked to me since that night

In the beginning, I called and called and called. I texted, I left voicemails, for gods sake I even emailed her and in return I get nothing

No one will talk to me. They're all ashamed to even look at me. The hardest to deal with is Joan and the twins

Joan had the most respect and love for me and I let her down. She was like a second mom to me and now she won't look at me the same

Bri and Scott are a different story. Those boys came to become my best friends and I told them everything. I haven't even tried talking to them because how can I sit here and ask them to forgive me for hurting her like that

But maybe that's where I should start. I haven't even asked for forgiveness because I was too ashamed but I think I need to. I need to call everyone, including Ariana, one last time to ask forgiveness and say my good byes and then I guess never talk to them again

With this free time and my dancing career kind of ruined, I decide to put my energy into my other passion. Photography. I shoot local models and scenery pictures. I've been curating this talent since I was 8. I've always been attracted to beautiful things and I appreciate the little things that come together to create a bigger picture

And with Photography, comes networking and socializing. That's how I met Mabelynn. We met at an La mixer and chatted for a bit then a few weeks later she dm'd me on instagram about having a session. From there we took off. As friends. Nothing ever happened between us when I was with Ariana. Well when Ariana wasn't with Mac

When it was just Ariana and I, I never even noticed any other girl. The only girl I needed, I already had. Until I didn't

She started dating Mac Miller and we just started drifting, barely talking, and I never even saw her in person. I started confiding in Mabelynn and the only way I kept up with Ariana was through the press and tabloids

I still loved her so so much, but there was just an empty hole in my heart at that time

Mabelynn and I got closer while Ariana and Mac did too

-August 9th -
Pushing the door to the Seven Grand open, I make my way into the dimly lit Downtown La Bar. I hobble my way over to one of the front barstools and sit my ass down. Whipping out my phone, I sort through the contacts until I find Mabelynn's and start typing

R: heyy, I'm here. where ya at ?

Pressing send, I quickly lock my phone and slip it into my back pocket

Looking up I see the bartender looking at me

"Hey .... You okay man ? You're not looking too hot .... No offense" he asks worried while scrubbing down the counter, making me chuckle just a little

"Is anyone okay these days?" I respond sadly referring to my situation with Ariana

"Hey, I hear that man" he says lightning the mood "Can I get you anything to drink ?"

"What ya got ?"

"We got the best bourbon in all of downtown. It won't disappoint" he tells me peaking my interest

"I'll take two" I say making him laugh

"Well, I'll start on the first one now" he says still chucking starting to make the drink