Living a Fantasy

Awakening

Maria Lavanda POV
(Alexis's Mother)

I don't understand how this happened to my little bebé, I'm so sorry mi princesa.
I never wanted any of this to happen, I never wanted anything to resort in tears never mind you ending up in hospital. I really have failed as a mama, I so sorry...

My head fell onto my hands weeping softly over the hospital bed and as my tears began to dampen the bed covers I just felt more miserable for myself. I could feel Alexis's body through the fabrics and I could almost imagine her with her arms around me, right now hugging me and telling my she loves me. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so awful and just plain useless. So many emotions are going through my head right now, I'm still confused as to who that young boy was that was in here earlier, and how they both met. However at the same time I'm so upset about my little baby that I can't think of anything else except for her and her little frail body that won't wake up.

I miss her so much which honestly sounds ridiculous when I say it to myself. You see Alexis and I have always had a complicated relationship, I suppose we both very different people, for example even when I just started school I would always try my hardest to talk to everyone and make loads of friends, I was always so confident around others. Alexis, on the other hand, has always been the complete opposite as soon as she met the first person her own age she grabbed on to my leg and attempted to hide behind me until I would pick her up. When I took her to a little daycare centre for the day whilst I had to go to various appointments looking for a new job, she was an absolute nightmare, I never set foot on that little chalky playground ever again. She had kicked and screamed as soon as I introduced her to the lady running the daycare, I didn't want to tell her that I would be leaving her there with nobody who she knew because I had no idea if I would be able to make it out of there alive if I did.

Alexis has always been a shy little adorable osito (teddy bear), and when she was younger I used to tell her the story of this shy little osito, the story would always start with;

There was once a little shy osito and her name was Alex, she would always sit in the corner of the smallest toy shop and she would hide herself from anybody that came into the store. The problem was that because she was hiding no one saw her so they couldn't possibly have taken her home with them, but she thought that it was because no one wanted her so she was a very sad little osito. But then one day a little boy walked into the store he was running from a mean older boy from his school who was chasing him. When the little boy arrived in the shop he went straight to the corner of the store to hide, and sure enough when the bully ran into the store he couldn't find the little boy anywhere. When the bully had left the little boy stood up and was about to leave when he saw the smallest little osito he had ever seen, she was a little honey coloured, fluffy teddy bear with a lilac ribbon around her neck. So he snuck her into his pocket ,and although he pretended he hadn't noticed, the toy shop owner began to smile to himself as he watched the little boy walk out of the shop with a fluffy ear sticking out of his pocket.

Then I would go into a little adventure with the little boy and the shy little osito would go on together, it was a different adventure each time and by the time the story had finished she would always be out like a log afterwards. Although, all the adventures and story's stopped when her papa left, when he walked out that door all the magic and treasured moments left with him.

Alexis

I heard a different kind of weeping coming from beside me, this cry I recognised it was mama, she was by my side and like before she was so upset, I could hear her sobbing. It was almost like an exact replication of when she was only five years old and woke up to a crying mama beside her. What's a young child, practically a little baby, supposed to do when in such a situation? How is she supposed to comfort her weeping mama, when she doesn't even know what to tell herself.

So instead I just tried harder than ever before to open my eyelids or move my body slightly. To just show my mama I will be with her again soon.

My arms began to tingle as I attempted to lift them in the direction of the sound of sobbing. My fingers were moving, I could feel them touch the sheets and I could feel them try to touch the warm breeze. Now my arms began to slightly shiver as I heard gasps next to me and muffled words but I tried to block them out as I concentrated fully on moving.

My eyes were now squinting and I could see a bright white light above me. All I could make out was a blurry room of some sort. It was so bright I couldn't see anything, but there was definitely only one person next to me. Had I just imagined that other person who was sitting next to me, squeesing my hand and telling me all the things I had to wake up to.

My back suddenly arched and I whimpered as I felt someone's arms behind me. Their soft palms resting on my spine as they slowly sat me up and brought me into a long needed hug. My head lay lifeless on their shoulder, facing inwards towards their neck. I took a few deep breaths instantly remembering my mama's signature smell, a mix of cinnamon, nutmeg and a subtle orange perfume from her shampoo. I felt at home, and nothing from my past mattered in her arms.

As my mind slowed down and my body regained most senses I could see the cold room clearly now. White. That's the only way to describe the room, what else is a hospital room? In my opinion there are very few adjectives to describe a hospital room, adjectives that don't being bring back too many memories.

"Ughh" was all that escaped my lips as I attempted to ask my mama what I was doing here, what happends to me. Instead I had just murmured out a sound of pain and discomfort, from this I received a gasp from my mama as she gently lay me down again, propping my head up on a pillow.

Once again I tried to ask a question, "weghh a.." for whatever reason my entire body did not want to co-operate with me at all. My mouth felt numb and this did not help when trying to talk, I could see my mama's confused but saddened face. He dark hair hung in loose curls around her tired face, her eyes looked exhausted and bloodshot from so many years shed. "Shhh you don't need to say anything baby, it's okay now" she whispered whilst running her fingers through my bright hair, ticking strands behind me ear. "Although... we have to talk bebé.." she said as her face turned slightly more serious. 'Uh oh...' was all I could think of as I felt my eyes widen at her next words...

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Okay okay okay.... I know this is incredibly short, not to mention how late.... buuuut I tried Okay! I've had the worst writer's block I've ever had, honestly I have no motivation to do anything... But I'm trying to get better! Hopefully ill get my inspiration back because if not, I don't know how I'm going to cope XD

Well anyway! Enough complaining! As always i really hope you enjoyed this in some odd way, comment your thoughts, positive or negative I wanna know!

Lots of love,

Alejandra xXx