Beautiful Mess (Kellin Quinn fanfiction)

Five

-Month Later-
  Kellin and I kind of kept our distances. No...he's been avoiding me. Nothing happened between us, but it didn't stop him from avoiding me. Kellin still pays half of the rent and buys some groceries while I take care of the rest.
  Today I decided that this childish game must come to an end. "Kellin!" I shout and pin him against the wall, he looks at me shocked. "Why haven't you been talking to me?" I asked worried.
  "I can't talk to you." He tries to leave but my grasp on him gets tighter.
  "Why?" I furrow my brows.
  "None of your business." He snaps and glares at me. My look softens on him, I let him go slowly and look down in shame. Kellin walks away, I can feel the heat of anger radiate off his skin. Did I do something wrong? I dig my nails into my arm where the tattoo is. I turn hot on my heels and slam my bedroom door shut, locking it.
  I open my drawer and pull out the pocket knife I had for safety reasons. At the moment, it wasn't a safety reason.
  I opened up the knife and rolled up my sleeves. I slice my arm lightly until I got used to it. I started to dig the knife into my skin, part of me wanted to cut open my veins, the other part stopped me. I avoided my veins and told myself I needed more pain. I take for my pants and cut across my thighs. It hurt like hell but I just needed to feel a lot of pain. It hurt but felt so good.
  I decided it was enough, I put on black skinny jeans, wincing at the fabric rubbing against my thighs but ignored it. I put on my grey long sleeve shirt and walked downstairs in black socks with unicorn emojis on it.
  "I love you too babe." I heard Kellin say while giggling. "Bye." I close my eyes and wipe away the tears that fell down. Time for fake happiness.
  I stroll in, acting like I didn't hear Kellin. "Rebel?" I didn't want to give myself away but it was too late.
  Jealousy came over me. I glared at him, my right eye was red and my left was pitch black. "Rebel your eyes." Kellin gasps.
  "Nothing is wrong with my fucking eyes." I snap and make myself a cup of coffee.
  "What's wrong?"
  "So now you fucking worry about me? What happened this morning huh?!" I clench my jaw tightly together.
  "I'm sorry, I was mad." I sigh and look away.
  "I have work."
  "Rebel, hon please-"
  "Go talk to your fucking 'babe!" I shout. "Tell them you love them and all that mushy gushy shit." Both of my eyes are pitch black. "Cause I don't give a god damn single fuck about you!" The metal spoon I had turned to dust in the wind. I close my eyes and they go back to gold and hazel. "I gotta go to work." I forget my coffee and grab my stuff. Fudge, Kellin is the only one who has a car.
  I can make it to work in time.
  -Skip-
  I walk in out of breath and sweating. "Rebel where-what happened?!" Rob lead me to a chair. Tears and sweat were running down my face. I sob into my own hands, not caring about my smudgy makeup.
  "Just had a bad morning Rob."
  "Did you eat?" He asked, I shook my head.
  "I'm not hungry."
  "Okay, your costumer is waiting patiently in your room, hurry and clean yourself up."
  ~Kellin~
  What did I do wrong? Did I say something? Why so Rebel so mad at me?
  I lay down on my bed and look up at the ceiling with pictures of rebel and I everywhere on my walls. It's only been a month since we've known each other and my room is already covered by her pretty face.
  My phone buzzes, gosh it's him again. I put on a fake happy tone when I answer. "Hey babe." I smile.
  "Hey sweetie, how are you?" He asks
  "Good..." I trail off and find myself staring at a picture of Rebel laughing at the camera I snapped the picture with.
  "So have you had the balls to ask Rebel out yet?" I sigh.
  "I don't know Vic, Rebel was mad at me this morning. I think she heard us chatting and took it the wrong way." I hear Vic sigh on the other line.
  "Take her out, do whatever she wants to do. Kellin whenever you talk about this girl to me, I feel as if you might lose her soon because you haven't asked her out yet." I gulp.
  "I know Vic I know." I heard the door open. "Look I'll call you back."
  "Okay love you hon."
  "Love you too." I hang up and see Rebel in my doorway looking at all the pictures around my room. "Rebel can we talk?" She ignores me and sits on my bed, still gazing at the walls and occasionally the ceiling.
  "My face is so ugly." Tears run down her cheeks. I could smell the alcohol on her, I knew she was drunk but she knew exactly what she was doing. "Kellin why do you have my ugly face all over your walls?" She looks at me, it hurt to see her so broken.
  ~Rebel~
  "It makes me fall asleep easier." Kellin says. "Look I'm sorry-"
  "Fuck you Kellin." Tears Sprung free. "I fucking hate you so much that I can't help but think about kissing you. I hate you Kellin Quinn!!" He cups my chin and forcefully pulls it up so I had no choice but to stare it him.
  "Why are you so fucking pathetic?" He snaps. "You're a pathetic bitch." His words stabbed my heart. "I hate it when you're all hopeless." He pushes his lips onto mine harshly. He slams me against the wall with no pictures on it. "God I don't even know why I'm mad." He grumbles.
  I didn't move a single muscle. "Don't you ever say you hate me, cause I know you don't." He brings his lips onto mine forcefully, I give in quickly. He pins my arms against the wall, I push my head up gasping for air. "Sorry for being rough." Kellin blushes. "I don't know what got in me." I chuckle and kiss his cheek.
  "It's fine." I push away. "I'm gonna shower, we have school tomorrow."