Falling Through Time: Basking in Firelight: Book 2

Blank Slate

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Warnings: Considering Suicide

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Hamilton froze.

He stopped.

He just stopped.

He searched Jefferson's eyes looking for any sign that Jefferson recognized him, anything that might show that this was just some sick joke so Hamilton could punch his face in. He found nothing of the sort. Jefferson was just looking at him in confusion, glancing at Lafayette for an explanation since Hamilton wasn't responding.

Lafayette looked between the two in shock. Hamilton took a step back, "No-" he whispered. "No, no, no, no, no, no," he said, backing into the wall. Hamilton turned and fled from the room, leaving a very befuddled Jefferson and a helpless Lafayette who was calling for a doctor.

Hamilton ran until he found somewhere where he was alone before he sank to the ground tore at his hair. No no no no no no no no this couldn't be happening. He just got him back. They just found each other again. Months, they'd only been back together for months before was ripped away from Hamilton again. It couldn't be real. None of this was real. He couldn't take it. There's no way he could survive without him anymore. After all they've been through. After all the pain they've shared.

A scream tore from Hamilton's throat, a loud, ugly, soul-wrenching scream, hands knotted in his hair, knees pulled to his chest. Jefferson had forgotten him. After all this? All the shit they've had to go through? Just when things were about to calm down and they could finally just be with each other.

Life isn't fair.

Death isn't fair.

They both teamed up on them and we're working together to give Hamilton and Jefferson the worst lives they could possibly have. Over and over again apparently. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right. Hamilton didn't ask to be pulled back into this. Hamilton didn't ask to have to go through this pain, Hamilton didn't ask if he wanted to relive losing everything that was important to him. He was just thrown back in and expected to make sense of it all. Well, what if he didn't want to? Had anyone ever thought of that? Maybe Alexander Hamilton was done.

Hamilton pulled out one of Jefferson's silver guns. He carried them with him wherever he went. Just because the war was over didn't mean the streets were safe. He looked at the metal and how it glinted in the moonlight. It was dark. No one would know until tomorrow morning. No one would even question the gunshot. His finger ran over the trigger as he studied the gun. It was cool and heavy in his hand.

Hamilton dropped his head, resting it against the cool metal, not the barrel, just the top of the gun. He couldn't do such a thing. Not right now. Not when Jefferson needed him most, even if he didn't know it. Hamilton had Jefferson's coat after all, he had to return that. And the pistols too, along with his cane. Jefferson loved those things.

Hamilton should've guessed this would happen. Nothing seems to go quite right for him and Jefferson. Hamilton pulled out his phone and dialed, "Hey Madison, yeah, no I'm doing fine. Yeah, hey listen, Jefferson woke up. Yeah. See you soon then." He hung up and dialed the next person.

After he finished calling everyone he could think of, he went home.

***

Jefferson watched the person rush out of the room. He guessed something was very wrong. Not only from the man's reaction but from Lafayette's worried face and shouting for a doctor. The doctor hurried in and looked pleased that Jefferson was awake. He ran him through several tests and told him that he'd be kept overnight and released in the morning. Then he left.

"Hey, Lafayette, who was that person?" Jefferson asked when they were alone again.

"You really don't remember?" Lafayette asked. Jefferson shook his head. "That was Alexander Hamilton."

Alexander Hamilton. The name didn't ring any bells. "What was he doing here?"

"He's been watching over you the entire time. And I'm not saying anything else because that's his decision to make."

"I'm gonna guess that we used to be close?" Before Lafayette could answer a whole bunch of people walked in the door shouting.

"Jefferson! Glad to see you're still alive!" Mulligan shouted. Madison walked over and clapped him on the back, Burr nodded from the corner of the room and Laurens was grinning.

"Madison! Burr! Great to see you!" Jefferson said happily. Jefferson turned to Lafayette, "Umm, who are the other two?"

Silence.

"Shit," Mulligan swore.

"Does Hamilton know he's missing some memories?" Burr asked Lafayette.

Lafayette sighed, "He was the first to find out."

"Well, fuck," Burr responded.

"Okay, I'm right here and this is kinda awkward," Jefferson said.

"Right!" Lafayette said, reverting back to his usual perky self to try and soften the situation. "Well, that one's Hercules Mulligan and the other is John Laurens."

"Okay. Who wants to fill me in on how I know you?"

"All of us met at the rally," Mulligan answered, gesturing to everyone in the room. "You and Hamilton decided to steal a tank and we jumped on board."

"How do you remember meeting Lafayette and Burr but not us at the rally?" Laurens asked.

"What?" Jefferson asked, "No, I met Lafayette in France after the war."

Lafayette went rigid and started looking around at the others to see how they reacted to the odd statement. Burr laughed nervously, "No Jefferson, you're mistaken, you met Lafayette and me at the rally."

Jefferson looked at Burr with confusion, "Didn't we meet when-" Lafayette clamped a hand over his mouth. Burr immediately turned his attention to Lafayette realizing there was only one reason why Lafayette would shut Jefferson up and that was if he remembered as well.

"Hey Laurens, Mulligan, Burr why don't you go look for Alex, he ran off earlier and I don't know where he went," Lafayette said.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Laurens said, pulling Mulligan with him. Burr followed, told them he thought it was best if they split up to cover more ground, waited for them to walk off and then immediately went back inside the room.

"-can't say things about- Burr?" Lafayette stopped mid-sentence, "I thought you were looking for Hamilton.

"Laurens and Mulligan can handle that. How long have you known?"

"Known? Known want?"

"How long have you had your memories?" Burr clarified.

"You remember too? I thought Washington, Hamilton, Jefferson, and King George were the only ones that knew."

"Wait, King George and Washington know?" Burr asked.

"Yeah, Jefferson didn't tell you?"

"No, we were having a different conversation."

"Hello, umm, still here by the way. What's going on?" Jefferson asked. "I've got a whole bunch of conflicting memories. Like I'm pretty sure I died. Someone explain."

So they did. As best they could. Lafayette left out everything about Hamilton and by the end, Jefferson was really wondering who this guy was, especially since Hamilton was pretty much most of the story. "Okay, neither of you said anything about this Hamilton guy, what's his story and how do I know him?"

Lafayette sighed. "Like I said, that's for Hamilton to tell you himself."

Jefferson sighed. What was with all the mystery anyway? Was it a big deal? Was there some huge thing that this impacted? He just wanted to know who this guy was.

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