What happened to us?

2

"Camila?" I turned around and saw Lauren standing there. 

~

I stare at her out of shock because I honestly can't even remember when the last night she actually said my name. "Camila!" she repeats which then took me out of my trance. 

"What?" I reply taking out my headphones. "I'm sorry about earlier, I just, you know how harmonizers edit videos and crap like that" 

"I get it Lauren" I reply in a whisper and I walk pass her. 

"Camila." she stops me making me turn around to look at her. 

"There's people around Lauren, you don't wanna be photographed talking to me, right?" I state in a monotone and continue to walk to the studio leaving her there. 

~

Everyone is gathered around the studio, Ally sitting on a chair writing, Dinah on her laptop, Normani with headphones on, Lauren on the floor writing, and me on the couch with my notebook and laptop. One of out team members was at the end of the couch pointing a camera at the other four and takes a picture of them which then makes me roll my eyes. 

Yeah okay, make me feel like i'm not a part of the group thanks. Then all of a sudden we all get notification on our phone saying that our fifth harmony insta page has posted a new picture. We all check it out and it was a picture of them four from a second ago with a caption "Bounce Back." They don't say anything seeing that I wasn't in the picture but I was in the same room which make Lauren look at me with a sad smile. 

I glance at her sad smile which makes me roll my eyes. Don't cry Camila, not here, not now. I remind myself. I shut my laptop loud enough for everyone to hear but soft enough so it won't break, then I grab my notebook and walk out the studio. I won't be dealing with this bullshit right now. Fuck this. I say angrily with myself. I walk around the building trying to find a quiet place for me to chill out alone. 

I find a set of stairs and I let my curiosity lead me so I end up going up the stairs all the way to the top. I open the door and I go out seeing a beautiful garden on the roof which made me smile. This garden honestly reminds me so much of the rooftop garden on HighSchool Musical 3. I made sure that the door wasn't locked from the outside and then I walk over the little garden area. I set my laptop and notebook down on the swing chair and I look at all the different flowers before sitting down. 

I open my laptop to garage band and my notebook and notes to my lyrics. I love writing and I love seeing and learning about everything that happens behind making a song and an album. I just I love it. 

Writing and making music is definitely my passion. The thing is, Fifth Harmony isn't really me. It isn't really any of us. Everyone has their own type of music. Fifth Harmony is its own. We have to make sure that when we're making music for Fifth Harmony that it sounds like what we really portrait the group as. It's a group identification. 

I wanted to make music on how I'm feeling and what i'm going through. I can't always make happy music and empowering music when I don't even really feel it at all and that's what sucks. We have so much limitations when we're writing as a group. 

Writing is like my therapy. 

With that being said, I like to have my alone time. When I'm feeling excluded and when I feel alone I turn to my journal or even just on the notes on my phone. I write what I feel and then afterwards I play around with a melody on my laptop or my Launchpad. 

After about an hour of playing around and making my own music for my own release I see a shadow from behind me which made me scream. 

I turn around and realize it was Dinah. "Oh my god Dinah, you scared the living shit out of me." 

She giggles softly and say, "Sorry Chancho, I didn't mean to scare you" she sits down beside me and continues "I've been looking for you al over this building for 30 minutes that I started to think you probably walked home, but then one of the janitors told me he actually saw you going up the stairs." 

I give her a flat smile, "I'm sorry, I just needed some time alone." 

She gives me a sympathetic smile, "I would wanna be alone too. It was wrong to take a picture of just us four and post it like you weren't in the room. So, I apologize." 

"It's okay cheechee. But, what did you guys do?" I ask trying to change the subject. 

"We listened to some demo's that people has sent us and we have narrowed it down to pick waiting for you to put in your opinion about them." 

"Well it's nice to hear y'all are waiting for my opinion" I laugh dryly. 

We stayed quiet for a bit until she breaks it "I miss you Camila. I really do and I want you to know that I'm always here for you no matter what. Which by the way, we gotta talk and catch up about everything because I barely hear you speak anymore." 

I think about it, maybe at least talking to someone would do me good. Plus, Dinah and I use to be the closest person in the group before Lauren and I really got close. I look at her and nod, "Okay cheechee." 

~ 

Hey lovely human beings, I'm officially back and I'm gonna be updating all my stories more often now. Vote to let me know y'all like the story & Comment any suggestions or opinions because I wanna hear you guys! Thank you loves! 

Stay Strong lovelies 💕