What happened to us?

4

"So this question is for Camila. A lot of your fans actually asked this question which gained our attention. But they said that they have noticed the other girls out and celebrating while you stay at home, or more so, stay in the bathroom of the hotel making music. They want to know why you do that and why you don't go out with the rest of the girls."

Everything the interviewer just described and asked me made me more anxious than I already was. How can someone be so blunt? What the fuck. I felt Dinah's hand rubbing my thigh as her attempt on calming my anxiousness down. I swallowed the lump in throat and started to talk hoping that I won't stutter.

"Um damn that was a little intense" I tried to joke to lighten up the mood because I definitely feel the tension. "I usually always choose to stay in rather than being out just because being on the road and especially being in a group means you don't get a lot of alone time with yourself. On top of that I also get social anxiety and just being around a lot of people in a setting where I'm not really the most comfortable in, like parties and such, my anxiety goes through the roof. So I then choose to stay in the hotel, spend some quiet time with myself and my own thoughts, write it down, release it through songwriting and talk to my family and catch up. I make sure to do that to take care of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually because I know that in a couple hours I'm gonna have to get up and grind."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Was that a good answer? Was that fine? Was that too much? That was just one of my reasons but I honestly hope that my answer doesn't get me in trouble or cause any uproar online. I hate this fuck.

"I mean that's very true. I can only imagine how busy and always on the go you all are. How about you girls? How do you all feel with what the fans were asking and observing." He asked looking at the other four. Why couldn't we just drop the topic? Damn. The girls shifted around obvious that they were uncomfortable. Dinah puts one of her arms around me as she started talking.

"I think sometimes our fans read too much into things. They like to read into the details and make it as big as they can and there's nothing wrong with that. Keep your imagination run wild but I think the boundaries are being ignored when everyone starts forcing their imagination to be the reality which just isn't the case most of the times. With that being said, we all handle things differently, we all cope with things differently, and some scenes are more for others while some scenes are not and it's just how it goes. It is hard to have an alone time on tour and I honestly give props to Camila for putting herself first whenever she can to make sure she takes care of herself. Because really, selfcare is the most important thing." Well Dinah went off, yes sis.

After what seemed like an eternity we were finally done with this interview. That was a lot and I'm emotionally drained. Now we're walking out the building making our way to the van and heading to God knows where. I sat at my usual spot at the very back and putting on my headphones letting myself get lost in music once again.