What Is Left Unsaid : An Ashley Purdy Love Story

Memories

ASHLEY'S POV :

     Everyone is heading back to LA today , and we have something of a convoy going ; my car , Andy's , CC's , and Tiana's truck . She's going to meet with her agent , and I have the cover art almost finished , so she should be able to have it before her meeting . 

     Blasko , Rick , and Shan are riding with me , and I glance out the window and see Tiana's truck pull up even with me as she's driving in the adjacent lane . I once again notice the multicolored dragon on the truck , and it occurs to me what it means .

     "That's the dragon from her book , isn't it ?" I ask Shan .

     "Oh , I'm sure it's in there , but that's actually just a fancied - up picture of this obnoxious stuffed animal she's had freakin' forever ."

     When she says this , it's just lucky I didn't go off into traffic .Now I remember why it seemed familiar the first time I saw it . I gave her the damn thing ! On our last date before I left , we went to the county fair , and I won it at one of the pitch games . The thing was almost as big as she was , and it wouldn't fit in the truck with us , so she had her arm out the back window all the way home , making sure it didn't fly out of the truck bed .

     "I remember that , it was from the fair right before I moved  ." , I said . "I'm kinda surprised she still has it  , though ." 

    " You've GOT to be kidding me !" , Shannon yelps . "That thing goes wherever she does . Sçott asked her once why she was so attached to it , and got sort of a weird answer . You know , the kind that worries people ." 

     I'm trying to keep my attention on the road , so it's Rick who winds up asking  , "What sort of answer was that , babe ?"

     "She told him that the day she got it was the last time she could remember actually being genuinely happy , without having to work at it or anything ." , she responds 

     Those words hit me like a fist in the gut , and I see out of the corner of my eye that even Rick flinches a little . That was NEVER what I wanted to happen ! She was supposed to get over me , go on with her life , and find someone to be happy with . 

     "Hey , Ash , you look a little beat ." , Blasko says . "You've been staying up every night working on your drawing  . Wanna pull over and let me drive awhile ?" 

     When he looks at me , I see that he knows why I don't really feel up to it anymore . Fucking THANK YOU ,dude !!

     I pull over at the first opportunity and switch places with him , so now I can finally close my eyes and just think . All sorts of memories start fighting for space in my head . 

     The first time I met her , was right before the beginning of my senior year . She came to live with her aunt and uncle because she was having problems at her old school , and my aunt volunteered Brian to show her around , so I drove him over to their house . She was barely fifteen at the time , but she was the prettiest girl I'd seen . 

     Her aunt let me come over to spend time at their house , but it took a couple of months before they allowed me to actually take her out , but we were pretty much inseparable from the beginning . They mostly trusted me , even though I was two years older , because they'd known me all my life . They were mostly right , too , for the first four months , anyway .

     After that , things changed . A lot . We were teenagers , after all . She trusted me enough to let me be her first , and I screwed up . We spend six months sneaking around , hiding it from everybody but Brian , Kelli , and Rick , talking about having a future together , and I just take off without a word . No wonder she hates my guts .

     I've never really thought about it before , but that's pretty much what I've been doing ever since then . With the exception of the time I was with Kina , I basically bail when anything looks like it might get serious . Maybe because I don't want to deal with the way it feels when it ends . 

TIANA'S POV :

     We finally get to LA , and stop at the recording studio first . When Ashley's car pulls up ,  we see that Blasko is driving , and Ash looks kinda wiped . Brian asks what's wrong , and Shan says that Ashley needed a bit of a rest , 'cause apparently he's been pulling all - nighters working on the cover .

     We go inside , and the guys introduce me to John Feldman , who they call Feldy . He gives me a brief tour of the studio , then starts talking with Jake and Jinxx about some of the guitar tracks they've done .

     While everyone else is occupied , I have an opportunity to catch Ashley alone .

     "Ash, I didn't ask you to go without sleep to get this done ." , I tell him .

     "That was a bit of an exaggeration on Shan's part ." , he replies . "I've been staying up a bit late , but not all night . That's just the way it goes when I have an idea to work out . I've done the same thing when I'm working on my clothes ."

     "OK , then . I don't want to be responsible for you making yourself sick or something ."

     "I'm not even sure why you'd care , after I was such a jerk . I was under the impression that you'd just as soon see me and Rick both tied to some train tracks somewhere ." , he says softly , so no one else hears what we're saying .

     "Truthfully , there have been days that I would've come up with worse than that ." , I say . "But thanks to my siblings , I can't do that anymore . We're going to have to learn to deal with each other in at least a halfway civilized manner , so there's no point in trying to put it off , is there ?"

     "I guess not . I'm just not sure what to say to you sometimes . I don't know what we are right now . Are we friends , or are you just politely hating me behind everyone's backs ?"

     I stop and seriously consider the question . After a minute , I say , "No , I suppose I don't hate you anymore , but I'm not sure I actually trust you , either . And it's definitely gonna be awhile before  I trust Rick , because I don't want to see my sister get hurt . She's nuts about him , and I don't know what she'd do if he did something stupid ."

     "I don't think you need to worry about that , Tiana , I've never seen him like this about anyone else . And I suppose I can understand why you don't trust me , but just the not hating me thing is actually more than I expected . Thank you for that , at least . Maybe eventually , we can actually be friends again ."

"Maybe so ." I say . As I stand here looking at him , the memory of the first time we met moves itself to the front of my brain .

     My aunt told me that her friends son was just a bit older than me , and was coming over to show me around , and tell me whatever I needed to know about my new school . A few minutes later , a boy showed up at the door , and said , "Hi , I'm Brian . Come on , my cousin is waiting for us out in the truck , so we don't have to walk ." 

     We walked outside , and I see the most beautiful human being I've ever set eyes on leaning against an old pickup truck . I could not take my eyes off of him . Brian introduced us , and by the time they brought me back home , he had decided that he was going to ask my aunt and uncle if he could take me out . That took awhile , but they did let him come over a couple of nights a week , and we'd watch movies and stuff , or do homework together . 

     We were pretty much inseparable from that day to the day he left , even though it pissed off a lot of the girls at school , and some of his friends gave him crap about going out with a sophomore , when he was a senior , telling him that he needed to get with another girl , and "get some action " . What most people didn't know was that we started having sex about four months after we started dating , we were just very quiet about it . If my family , or his , had found out , it wouldn't have been pretty . It's actually  kind of amazing how creative teenagers can get  when they want to hide things from their folks .

     Trust me . I know that better than most .