8 months left

D-223

To SkyCastles for her sincere comments. Jazakalahu khayr!

chapter 2 : D-223

'There is nothing in this world that can trouble you as much as your own thoughts'

Unknown

With a cup of water, it'll be easier to swallow. It was a quote his grandmother would always say. Needless to say Ahmad could drink cups of water, juice and milk, he couldn’t forget the delay. 8 months left. He only had approximately 8 months to live and he couldn’t sleep that night. The seconds, the hours, the days were approaching his death day. He was thinking of a way to spend his months. YOLO or because you only live once, people would tell you, you should live each moments to the full!

"Have fun! Make the most of your youth!" They'd say. How can you make it? By partying? Drinking? Having a not-so-special someone to live with?

Thoughts made him wonder for hours, he pushed his blankets and sat straightly on the bed. He couldn’t see his hand but managed to take the bottle of water on his bedside. Fresh water entered his system for the fifth time. It made him go to the loo. Sighing heavily, he got out of his bed and groped around in the dark. Hopefully his room was at the end of the corridor, just next to the bathroom. On his way back, he stopped next to his parents’ door. He didn’t like his parent's silence and invisible tears. It made him heartbroken and hopeless, thing he couldn’t afford to be now. At dinner, he had tried his best to avoid his parent's and sibling's eyes, to avoid their fear, sadness, and pity. He didn’t want to be pitied and not by his parents above all. This was the reason why he had to live his life to the fullest.

Wiping the tears he hasn’t noticed, he returned to his cold blankets and engulfed his head in his arms. Thoughts were loud and unbearable. They were dragging him in every direction possible. Lost. He was desperately lost, confused so he let himself cry for once because after all he was only 17. His voice croaked and tears were being stronger. The stream of salty tears quickly became a river. He was sobbing and weeping uncontrollably when remembering the 8 months left. He feared death just like every human being. Soon he would die and he had no idea how he would spend those 8 months. So tears kept rushing.

Eventually at around 3 am, between two sobs and a flow of tears, he managed to find some sleep.

-

Ahmad's alarm clock pointed out 9:46 am. Too late for school. Slipping his head in his soft and warm blanket, he remembered he hasn’t prayed Fajr yet. Even if his blankets were white, he was surrounded by complete darkness. He gradually closed his eyes whilst struggling with himself. It's okay, I'll pray later. Besides Duhr is far away and I couldn’t sleep all night, he thought. His eyelid suddenly became heavy. His head softly relaxed on the comfortable cushion. Allah knows while others don’t. Yeah, I'll pray later, he added inwardly. He was in a really comfortable position all of a sudden. Allah is the most Forgiver. With this last though, his eyes closed and Ahmad sank in a deep dreamless sleep.

­-

"That's why I didn’t see you!" Firdaws yelled, bursting in his bedroom.

“Talking about?" Ahmad mumbled, covering his head with a cushion.

"At school I mean. You didn’t come" she passed by his bed and opened the curtain.

Ahmad's mumbles became louder.

"Come on! Wake up! It’s nearly two!" She yelled enthusiastically

.

"Crap" he muttered. "Crap, crap, crap. How is that possible?"

He jumped out of his bed and ran to the bathroom. On his way he tripped over a bottle of water, his bag and banged into the door.

Firdaws burst into laughter. Hopefully, she didn’t know he hasn’t prayed fajr yet, let alone Duhr. In a rush, he quickly made wudu, put his mat and prayed Fajr and Duhr, after he made sure no one could see him pray that late. But who was he kidding? Allah watches and knows best. He knew Ahmad hasn’t prayed at time. And Ahmad knew that and he felt ashamed. Folding his mat, he decided he would pray fajr at time. Insha’Allah he added before going downstairs.

"Salam aleykum Mom" he greeted, entering the kitchen

"Wa aleykum Salam Ahmad. How are you feeling?"

He took an apple and quietly sat on a chair opposite his mom.

"Fine"

"Al hamdulilah" she smiled and continued beating the eggs.

She didn’t ask why he didn’t to school. Why he woke up that late and why he had violet bags under his eyes. This infuriated him but he didn’t say a thing. Instead, he cut his apple and slowly ate it in the kitchen. Maybe she'll remember he had school. Unfortunately she didn’t.

Sighing he lit the television in the living room and randomly zapped through the cannels. Finally he popped onto some show. The host was asking questions to a celebrity but Ahmad wasn’t paying attention.

He knew why his mother didn’t ask him questions. She wanted him to live the way he wanted till the end. After all, why would someone who is close to die, study? To die a little smarter? He chuckled and slipped on the sofa. Studies won’t help him during his death but he knew deep down in his heart, what will.