New Native Land (The Next Step) (Book II)

Chapter 5 (We're Alright)

I mugged Ahm and he mugged me back "Fix yo face." He demanded and I deepened my mug "Stop talking to her like she crazy, that's the problem." Smokey told Ahm but Ahm kept his glare. "I don't know why we're here. He's too stubborn, this is childish, I said I was done." I stated and Smokey let me go and spoke up on Ahm's behalf "Look, if it was anyone else, I'd probably let them go and say good riddance. But you ain't just anybody, and you ain't just anybody to him. I know he'll be too proud to admit it, but there's something he likes in you, and I don't think he wants to lose ya." I looked at Ahm, he didn't deny it.

"So, I have to be happy with someone who can't even admit they like me? I deserve that?" I asked, frustration clear in my voice. Smokey looked up at Ahm to answer the question because it was clear Smokey was done talking for him. "Well?" Smokey asked him and he smacked his lips and I let out a winded chuckle saying in disbelief "I think I deserve that much." I nodded and turned on my heel and started walking away.

I heard Scrap yell "Ahm! Go get her back nigga." Smokey stopped him "If he wants to be stupid and lose her, let him." I shook my head and I walked faster to the car.

Cecil knew something was bothering me he asked curiously "Are you alright?" I nodded and hopped in the car. Cecil went to the driver's side and turned on the car. "I was worried about you today." He said to me and I nodded. I was furious, I was so mad I was holding back tears, when I got to this point I knew I was the most dangerous I could be. It was this point that I got so mad, I had someone killed in Houston so I tried to restrain myself.

I breathed out and accidentally let out a low angry growl. I closed my eyes and popped my gum some more. "Who made you mad?" Cecil asked charged up and ready to go. "No one. I need to get home." I said and he sped all the way there.

Cecil parked in front of the house and he paused and sighed "If anyone did something to you. Tell me. I'll fix it." Cecil said sternly and I shook my head. "It's not something you can solve." I said and I got out the car "I can solve anything Reagan." Cecil reminded me and I just walked away to the house.

I walked into the house and I caught myself before I slammed the door. "Aye how was your... What's wrong?" Malcolm said walking up to me and I couldn't control it "Why are niggas so fucking complicated? Why can't niggas be fucking simple? Why niggas gotta have the biggest egos and large ass prides. All you have to do is fucking apologize. Say you fucking sorry, you fucked up, something! Am I not owed that shit? No! Instead you front in front of your got damn friends! Like, why do I deserve to be with the shittiest people in the world? Why is my karma so fucking bad? What horrible thing have I done, that bad shit keeps happening to me? Why does it have to be me?" I let out and by this time my brother Trey was standing in front of me too looking confused.

"Uh..." Trey said and I glared at him which made him jump. "Are you having a bad day?" He asked me and I laughed out loud like a crazy person. "Bad day? BAD DAY? You have no idea. First, I have to take this God-awful medicine that makes me feel like I'm going to pass out in the middle of the street somewhere, and I feel horrible. I can't even walk down a street without wondering where my breath is. And my classes are the most boring classes I've ever been in. Is that what college is about? Count me the fuck out. Oh, and when I get home from having a shitty day, who makes it worse? Ahm's bitch ass! But it's fine, because as far as I'm concerned I'm doing to drop out, stop messing with people I don't need to be with and I'm going to die because I refuse to take this stupid ass medicine anymore!"

I threw the medicine bottle down and I walked up the stairs past my brothers. They were speechless, and I was tired.

I fell on my bed and I closed my eyes. I sighed out and I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I looked over at my clock and saw the time. It said 2:21 AM. I sighed, I cannot believe I took a long nap like that. I got up and I combed my fingers through my hair. I got up and turned on a light and found a rubber band to put around my hair. I yawned a bit and I walked over to my bathroom and I started the shower.

I got out and changed and I went downstairs to get some water. When I got downstairs I saw my dad watching TV. I looked at him funny, and walked into the living room. His attention snapped to me and he looked at me curiously. "What are you doing up?" He asked me and I sighed "I just woke up." I said and he nodded. "Sit down, I need to talk to you." He told me and his voice was serious.

I sat down on the couch next to his favorite arm chair that he was already sitting in. He stared at me hard and he sighed "Reagan, I know it hasn't been easy adjusting to living here. I know this, and I know that for my sake you've been trying to do so, but you need to tell me when things are going bad and what's wrong. You can't try doing everything on your own for my benefit. I need you to lean on me too. I know I'm not someone you'd typically want to go to first, but I'm your father. I helped make you, and I want to see you grow and succeed. So, can you please tell me what's wrong?"

I looked down and sighed sadly "I don't hate it here, it's just not where I thought I'd be. I know I got us in trouble in Texas and I know why we're here but that doesn't make it easier on me. I feel like you guys hate me because we had to move." I admitted and my dad looked stern "It is not your fault we moved here Reagan. I wanted to give you a better education and I wanted to leave Texas for my benefit as well. Do not blame yourself on the actions of another, you were defending yourself and Cecil did what he had to do. No matter what you do, I will never ever hate you do you understand me?"

I nodded and said "My classes are harder and I'm scared that my dyslexia might affect the way I perform. I'm scared this medicine will over power me and I can't do day to day activities. I don't know, I'm worried about too much." He made a face of understanding "Maybe I did put too much pressure on you, but no one believes in you like I do. Those classes, you'll pass those and you'll learn a lot. And the medicine, it's the dosage, they needed to start you off with the high stuff first to fix the damage, and then they lighten it, so don't worry. I'll have Cecil be with you a little more so he can watch over you." He assured me and I nodded.

"I made you some dinner, but you were sleeping. Go eat so you can take your medicine." He told me and I got up and went to the kitchen and saw the food and laughed "You did not cook this." I said and he laughed "I heated it up, now eat it." He told me and I laughed and ate the food he made just for me. I went to the counter and saw my pills sitting there, I sighed and I opened the bottle and took one.

I walked back into the living room. "I'm going to finish some homework and go to bed." I told my dad and he nodded and I walked back upstairs. I went to my backpack and I opened my books and did the comprehension questions I was supposed to do and I went back and laid down in bed and fell asleep easily because of these pills.