You see when I said this makeover wasn’t so bad after all? Well I spoke to soon. I’m currently in Ella’s mustang on our way to the salon to get a full body wax, facial and a haircut. Could this day get any worse? The answer is no.
“Relax, your acting like your about to give birth to an elephant”
“I would rather that then this, come on Ellie, why don’t we just go to the cinema and watch non-stop, it has Liam Neeson in it, your favourite actor, it’ll be on me and we can then go to Tinsel Town for dinner. Pleaseeeeeeee Ellie my best friend in the whole wide world” I begged and trying my best at the puppy dog eyes I just can’t do.
“Ha-ha nice try, but you look more like a constipated hamster than a cute puppy” I flinched at the comparison to a hamster. She only said it because she knows how much I despise them.
“Number 1: I already watched that movie with Dy- never mind that’s beside the point. Number 2: you’re supposed to be on a diet for this makeover so tinsel town is no place to be eating when you’re on a diet. Number 3: correction: I’m your only best friend in the whole wide world. Number 4: you can’t get out of this even if I didn’t want to go; we have to pay a £50 fine including the amount for the treatment for wasting there time, so no can do chica.”
Fucking great.
I was defeated and I had a good feeling this wasn’t going to be the last time.
“Fine! But I’m not going on a diet, I’m not even fat.”
“True, you already work out more than a fricking man, all that football and crap… after we leave the salon I promise to take you to tinsel town, cheer up grumpy!”
She had a point, I was Ellen-hill high’s male’s football captain. Now you’re probably thinking: ‘males??’ isn’t she a girl? Is she a transsexual? Well let me reassure you I am 100% female. Boobs and everything. And yes it is not a typo; I am the males’ football captain.
Before my dad left me and my mum to start his new family, me and my dad used to play football together every day. It was our own father/daughter bond. My mum literally had to take the ball away from us for us to stop playing. When I finally got to high school I found out Ellen-hill high didn’t have a female football team and I sure as hell wasn’t joining the cheerleading squad. Cheerleading was never for me. Principle Jacobs said everyone needed to join an extra circular activity after school so that’s when I came up with the genius idea of asking Coach Dawson to let me try out for the team. Funny thing is he thought I was a boy so he let me try out and said I was just what the team needed. I am incredibly tall at 5ft 8 but I don’t think I look like a boy.
Yeah right. You have more hair on your body than King Kong.
Fair enough, I had more hair than the average teenage girl but it’s just because I never saw the need to go through the pain of waxing, it’s not like I ever showed of my body anyway. The next day when I joined the team for practice you should have seen the team players faces.
Flash back:
“What the hell are you doing here nerd? The library’s that way.” Finn the pervious captain said.
“I’m aware of that. I’m pretty sure I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.” I answered ignoring his insult.
“This is football practice, I’m sure you weren’t aware of that.” The players around laughed at his comment.
Before I had the chance to answer back to his stupidity coach Dawson interrupted.
“Good evening lads, so I see you’ve already met our latest recruit.” He chuckled. “Boys this is Alex and he will be joining our team. Welcome to the Ellen-hill football team.” he finished punching my arm playfully. It kind of hurt but I brushed it off.
