The Rogue

XXX

*Rian*

I was finally taking that much needed shower when I felt my heart race. Without a doubt, I knew it was Faye. She wasn't afraid or excited. No, she felt confused. My fingers curled into my palms as her face filled my mind.

Right now, I needed her. She believed that her coming to Oregon made all of these terrible things happen, but I didn't agree. I think all of it would have happened anyway, except I wouldn't have had her to bring me hope. Faye was the only source of joy I had anymore.

And now she was gone. Not forever. Nature wouldn't allow it. But for now. I would have to live with the consequences of my stupid decisions until then. Brian may have deserved to die, but I regretted doing anything that put space between me and Faye. I just wanted us to be close again.

Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and moved to the mirror. Gaunt shadows belied my eyes, which were a faded blue. Their color seemed to have been sucked out by all the stress. My jawline was covered in a layer of dark facial hair. I hadn't had time to shave at all in the last few weeks, but, now that I did, I didn't actually want to.

I walked into my bedroom and removed the towel from my waist, using it to dry out my hair. When I found my way to the closet, I paused to run my fingers over Rosco's clothes, the ones I never bothered to remove. They all still smelled like him. His scent never failed to make me tense, but that was the mark of a strong leader.

His legend was too big for me. It seemed like I would never be able to live up to it. I once had a reputation of my own—the feral Beta who listened to no one and could take down even the most powerful of Alphas—but that was gone. I didn't even know if that part of me ever really existed. The Beta in me felt like it had been laid to rest in another lifetime.

A pair of khakis and a white t-shirt served as my outfit for the day. Today was a day I had been dreading for forty-eight hours. I would have to banish my own father from the pack today. That is, assuming his ridiculous scheme didn't rally enough support, which I doubted it did. No one ousted their Alpha. It was such a rare occasion that most of my pack gaped when I led a meeting yesterday.

I didn't bother with shoes before leaving the bedroom. My office was only one staircase and a hall away. When I got there, a stack of mail the size of Mount Everest was piled on the desk. I settled into the office chair, released a deep sigh, and got started on the bills and real estate properties.

No one bothered me for several hours, a feat in itself. I had just finished a call with a tenant when there was a knock on the door. After my surprise wore off, I remembered how to speak.

"Come in," I called.

The door eased open, and Titus appeared in the threshold. My abdomen twisted uncomfortably.

"Alpha," he greeted with a slight head bow. "We need to talk."

"About?"

"You know what about."

Nodding reluctantly, I gestured for him to sit in one of the chairs across my desk. He did. I clasped my hands together and met his gaze.

"If you're here to tell me you're joining the rebel cause," I said, "you should leave."

"I have stood by your side through everything. I'm not abandoning you now."

Titus was right. He had stood by me through everything. I didn't have the right to be considered as good a friend as he was, but I had the hopes of making things better.

"Alright," I complied with a nod. "Then tell me what you're here for."

"I want to...warn you. Your father has been making his rounds to everyone in the pack, and I've seen more of our wolves support him than I would have ever thought."

"You think our pack is going to turn against me? Turn against tradition and nature?"

His coal eyes flashed with worry. "I don't like it anymore than you. I wouldn't ever place a bet against nature. But we have to be idealistic about all of this."

Chuckling, I shook my head. "My father. My father of all people. I should've made you my Beta. I've should've seen that we've been paired together since birth for this."

"It's not your fault," he said, even though we both knew he was wrong. "You thought you were doing right by our pack by not putting someone...weak in such a high position."

"You're not—"

"I get it. I wouldn't want my leadership to have weaknesses either."

"But I failed to forget how remarkable of a fighter you are and how you are much more controlled than I will ever be. You don't have the thirst to kill. It's not a weakness if it's not even a temptation for you."

We stared at each other for a prolonged moment. Finally, he just sighed, shoulders slumping.

"Rian, listen. I want you to know that if they reject you, I'll have your back. I'll always have your back, Alpha or Gamma or Rogue or whatever." Wetting his lips, I could tell he was about to regret his next words. "But I can't risk being rejected too. If it was just me, I would go with you. I have to look out for Sarah, too. And...she's pregnant."

My jaw dropped. "Pregnant? Sarah is pregnant? As in, with a baby?"

"Yeah, man," he remarked with a nervous smile. "We're having a baby."

"Well, congratulations, Titus. That's terrific."

"Thanks. I can't believe she got pregnant now while all of this crap is happening. Just perfect timing, I tell you." He rolled his eyes.

"When all of this is over, it'll be nice to have something to look forward to," I said, meaning every word.

"I think so, too. This baby's gonna be a little genius," he told me. Then, pointing his thumb at himself, he added, "Just like her daddy."

Laughing, I replied, "Uh huh. What makes you so sure the baby's a girl?"

"Can you imagine me raising a boy? The kid would be doomed."

"That may be true."

We laughed together. I couldn't remember the last time we'd done that. It brought me a refreshing sense of release.

"Well, I understand," I finally assured him. "You have to protect them first. Let's just hope this whole scheme dies out."

"Let's hope."