Weird Theories About People I Obsess Over

Kitchen Sink

(Disclaimer: This is based off a theory I saw on Instagram, not originally my idea, I just elaborated on it)

(Also, contains self harm and sadness so beware)\

(Also, THIS IS NOT A JOSHLER THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS IN THIS)

It all starts a few years before the song Kitchen Sink came out.  Josh had gone out of town with his parents last minute, and they had taken his phone away, so he was unable to tell Tyler.  It was only a day trip, so he'd be back by dinner.

He begged and pleaded with his father for him to give it back so he could send Tyler just one text.  He knew Tyler was going through a rough time, worse than Josh could imagine.  Tyler was pretty depressed, and the only thing that made him happy was being around Josh and playing music.  Josh sat in the car, eyes pinched shut, trying not to imagine what was happening with Tyler and that moment.

In this moment, Tyler woke up.  He got out of bed and stretched, yawning as he did so.  (This was Tyler pre-tattoos and Josh with tattoos).  He speed walked to his desk and picked up his phone.  When he turned it on, he was disappointed to not see any messages from Josh.  Every morning Josh usually left him a good morning message like "Hey, call when you're up" or "I'd love to see you.  Can I come over?", which usually made Tyler's day start off a hundred times better.  This day, however, there was no message.

Tyler began to have horrible thoughts, about himself mainly.

"Why did I ever think Josh liked me?  I don't have any friends.  He probably hates me.  Everyone hates me." Tyler grabbed fistfuls of his puffy hair, pulling hard enough it made his scalp sting but didn't come out.  That way the pain could last longer.

Tears began to stream down his cheeks, half from the internal warfare he was experiencing and half from the pain coming from his head.  He could already tell he was having one of his bad days.

He got up and gripped his phone in one hand while he wiped away tears with the other.  He typed in Josh's phone number, which he had memorized.  It rang and rang for what felt like forever until it wen to voicemail.  Tyler waited for the beep. "J-Josh, p-p-please c-call me back.  I-I need y-you right n-now.  I-If you're m-mad at m-me, p-please just let me know." Tyler stifled a sob and hung up.  He walked into the kitchen, hoping to see his mother so he could hug her.  Instead, he was greeted by a note.

In her hand writing was scrawled "Tyler- I had to go to work early because they needed me.  You seemed pretty tired and I didn't want to disturb your sleep, so I let you be.  Call my work line if you need anything, I'll be back around dinner time.  Love you, Mom." He sighed, crumpled up the note, and angrily threw it to the ground.  He began to shake  uncontrollably, unable to contain it.

Then the thoughts came.  They'd been gone since Josh had come around, but now that he was gone they were back.

You aren't worth it.

No one loves you.

You mean nothing.

Everyone hates you.

It isn't worth it.

You're not worth it.

What's the point?

Why are you here?

Why are you even alive? 

You shouldn't be.

And that was when it hit Tyler- he didn't have to be alive.  He went back to his room and grabbed the two things he kept on his desk- His notebook and a pen.  He went to his bed and sat down, placing the notebook in his lap and holding his pen.  He began to scrawl across the paper, pouring out everything he needed to say.