Hyacinth ▷ Sam Uley

ZERO

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ZERO; REMEMBRANCE

     DREAMS ARE VIVID — Sam Uley figures that out when he's only twelve, still cramped into a twin sized bed. He cannot say exactly when he began dreaming of his former best friend, but he can say that they've never stopped. She's continued to be present in his mind even when he's holding hands with Leah Clearwater and eating dinner with her family.

     He refuses to tell a soul. He believes he's such a pathetic man to still dream of his first girlfriend. He doesn't even understand how it's possible — when he asks his friends if they remember their first kiss or the first girl they had a crush on, they would all laugh and say they didn't have a clue.

     "It was so long ago," one of his friends remarked, raising an eyebrow. "No one remembers that kind of stuff, Sam."

     But he does.

     He can tell stories of Hyacinth Embers like she still lives in La Push and sees him everyday. He doesn't even know what she looks like now or how beautiful she's grown to be. God, Sam can't even imagine how breathtaking the girl must be. If she was the most gorgeous person he had ever laid his eyes on during his youth, he can't picture her features during the present.

     It wasn't like they kept in touch when she moved away. All he remembers is her small arms wrapping around his neck, sniffles being heard in his ear. "I'll miss you, Sammy," she whispered, eyes closed.

     They were the last words he ever heard from her before she was piling into her mother's minivan, waving at him as it drove away. For the first few months, Hyacinth's mother would call the home so her daughter could speak to him. Sam remembered hearing the excitement in Hyacinth's voice when the phone was passed over to her, and it made his heart swell with happiness.

     However, as Sam's home situation began taking a turn for the worst, calls were receded by his mother and Sam no longer heard Hyacinth's melodious voice telling him she loved him before she went to bed.

     Sam refuses to dwell on his past. He refuses to acknowledge the fact that while he's laying next to Leah in bed, he only dreams of Hyacinth's smile. He refuses to think of her when everyone's pressuring him to marry Leah, albeit he only wants to buy a home for him and Hyacinth to live in.

     He pushes back everything that reminds him of her — such as the color yellow or hyacinth flowers that Leah says is one of her favorites.

     He just wants to make everyone happy by following the plan that's set for him. He needs to marry Leah, stay in La Push, have kids together, and raise them better than Sam's own parents did for him. He begins to fully forget Hyacinth's existence, although when he closes his eyes at night, she's there as a constant reminder. Everything in his life begins to fall into place perfectly.

     The universe just seems to be mocking him when he's the first shifter to phase on the reservation. He now has to hide this secret from Leah and the rest of his friends and family.

     Even better, Hyacinth is back in town and she's not the same girl Sam dreams of anymore.

warning: this story will probably be filled with lots of angst, because idk why but i'm good at writing about hurtful things