Let Me Take A Selfie

Chapter 1.

5th December.

I ran a hand roughly through my hairs and stared at my reflection.

Okay, I think I'm ready. I wore a pair of black jeans and a loose sweatshirt. My hairs were in a mess and my eyes were blood shot red because of all the crying. Some strands were hanging loosely which made me more annoyed.

I groaned loudly and fixed them behind my ears and continued staring at my reflection. My nose was red and my mascara was spread all over my cheeks. My red lipstick was now spread around my lips which gave me a horror look. I looked more like a joker anyway. Red nose, bright red lips except the fact that I was crying instead of laughing.

"Nadia, come out." My mom repeatedly banged her fists on my bathroom door. Even though she seemed so enthusiastic her voice came out more like a plead than a demand.

"Leave me alone, will you?" I shouted in an annoyed tone and reached forward to open the cabinets. I searched for a blade but my mom would have removed it obviously. I pushed the medicines aside and finally found a blade but it was rusted. Would'nt want to die of tetanus rather than cutting off your wrists, will ya?

I threw the blade away and splashed a handful of cold water on my dry face. After mercilessly scrubbing my face with the strawberry and Aloe Vera exfoliating face wash, I wiped my face with the extra soft 100% cotton towel. I tied my hairs into a messy bun and unlocked the bathroom door. I peeked outside to see if my mother was still there and slowly came out. I went to my desk drawers and pulled out my purse and mobile.

23 missed calls.

35 messages.

9 voice mails.

16 friend requests.

At least the last one was not that important I thought. I opened the window and slowly forced my self out of the small hole. I won't be able to face the deadly talks which my mother will give me bombarding with bone crushing hugs and personally washing my face with her saliva. I shuddered at the thought and swiftly exited my house.

I walked on the pavement dragging my feet. I finally reached the graveyard and slowly opened the gate.

I walked past many graves until I reached the particular one which I'd been looking for.

Here lays Lindsey Matthews, a loving daughter and a loving sister.

My eyes brimmed with tears and I could feel my knees give up. I fell down on my knees and sobbed. Fresh tears fell on the grass and I lay there crying for the death of my sister. Soon, my eyes gave up and I drifted off to sleep peacefully with my sister.

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I woke up by the sudden bang in my head. I shot up and rubbed my eyes. This made the pain worsen and made me feel dizzy. I got up slowly and my fingers crawled up to the sides of my head. I began pressing the sides and made my way towards the exit not before giving the grave one last look. I tried to check the time but my mobile was switched off. Maybe due to low battery. I could guess that it was late because the stars made their way to twinkle in the sky.

5th of December was a date which none of our family members wish to remember. My seven year old sister, Lindsey died. What right does god have to take away the people we love the most? Why does he send them in this world to live when he will take them away?

The cold wind blew past me making my bun loosen a bit and my nose wrinkle. My sore throat was making it worse. I sneezed a few times now and then as a strong blow of wind passed by. I touched my forehead with one hand and could feel than I'd get sick soon. Sleeping on grass which still had crystals of dew drops shining on it and the cold wind which passed by casually made me catch up fever.

I had no idea what I'd tell my mom when I get home. Making my way slowly towards my home I could feel the wave of tension surrounding me. What if my mother tried to do what I tried earlier? She was home alone as my dad tries to work double shift so that he can ignore the stab in his chest that his youngest daughter died. I don't blame him as I'd do the same. My dad is not the emotional kind of person. I only saw him cry once, that was when Lindsey died. He never cried in front of us but his dark red and puffy eyes said everything. I increased my pace and ran towards my house ignoring the pain in my back.

I reached the familiar brown door and pressed the bell repeatedly. I banged my fists on the door. Why am I getting a vibe that something wrong is about to happen?

"Mom! Open up." I banged my fists and kicked the door. Suddenly I remembered that we kept a spare key inside the tree house where Lindsey and Theodore used to play. I climbed up the broken stairs as fast as I can and reached the small tree house which my big brother, Theodore had built. Old memories found their way even in the strong head ache. I pushed them far away before they could make me more sick. I picked up Lindsey's box of toys and searched for the particular white sea shell box. As soon as caught hold of it I opened the box and took the similar silver key out. I placed the box back and climbed down.

As I was running towards the door my foot caught in a loop made of grass. I groaned loudly as my head ache shot up. It became impossible for me to get up but I gathered all my courage and sprinted towards the door. I played with the keys nervously but finally heard a 'click'. I threw the keys in any random direction and checked all the rooms.

I went inside the kitchen to see my mom sitting on a chair facing towards the wall. I let out a breath of relief and walked towards her.

"Thank god, mom. You scared me. I-" I was cut mid sentence as I saw my mom sitting on the chair peacefully but only one thing was wrong. Her wrists were cut and she laid there unconsciously.

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Thank you for reading.