You'll never know...

I thought,,,

Ever asked yourself why i'm going? ever asked yourself why i'm not even looking at your eyes? ever asked yourself why i'm trying to escape? what happened? where am i? where am i going? what im even trying to do? why am i letting go? all those questions have only one answer: FEAR! I'm scared of getting attached and losing you, im scared of loving you and not getting anything back, i'm scared of you choosing someone else over me and yes at the end all my fears turned to a sad reality that i cannot change and that i'm afraid to face. You can never know what you did cause i wont tell you anything. I was lost and you brought me back to the track but sadly the ugliest yet most hurtful track you could think of. without even knowing you chose another girl: you loved her so much even more than you loved me and it hurt me so much because i loved you even more than you could think. i thought you loved me because of every lie you said i thought i was someone special for you but no, it hurt when i knew you talked to every girl the same way! how could you?! how can you even say words you didn't mean? how can you even be so careless? You enjoyed my anger and you played with my feelings. it was easy for you to make me mad or to make me question my capacities and its was even easier for you to bring back my smile cause you knew one hug can make me forget every knife in my heart!! you knew i loved you but you didn't even care. now that i know that i will never win your heart i decided to lose mine. i decided to lose my fight and give you the liberty to enjoy loving your life. Don't blame my decisions, you hurt me with your actions! i chose to let go because i know that if i stop now it won't hurt for too long but if i continue seeing you choosing her at the end you'd break my heart into 2912001 pieces! Now i'm walking away picking up my feelings packing them down deep in my heart hoping someone would find the key to let them fly free without any fear💫