Pain Is Hilarious (Billdip)

Why pink?

I walk down to the kitchen where I find my family eating breakfast; Oatmeal and toast. I take a seat and look at my beaming sister and uncle. My face showing nothing but agony. Mable looks at me with her smiling face, but the instant we make contact, it turns sour. 

"Huh? Dipper? You okay, bro bro?"

I plaster on a fake smile and nod. She smiles and returns to her joyful conversation. I get up and leave seeing I am no longer need in this situation. I contemplate weather or not to go back up stairs and sleep. I look at the stairs that would lead to my death one day. I turn around and head out the door.

I walk into the woods. I walk as deep as I can. I try to escape the voices. They tell me to die. 

Something hits my hand. Its red. I snap out of my trance-like state and notice that my lip is throbbing. I touch it and wince at the pain. I come to the conclusion that I BIT MY FUCKING LIP OFF! I am not phased and begin walking  once more! ( Onward!!! )

~ 5 hours later ~

RUSTLE RUSTLE 

I hear something come from the bushes around me. The sky had begun to fall and I wonder if its Mable or Stan coming to try and find me. I get up and walk in the opposite direction the noise is coming from. I feel someones hand on my shoulder. I turn around to find Bill. I frown.

"aww! and here I thought it would have been some serial killer to finally end my suffering."

Bill looks at me with a face that tells me to shut the fuck up and take shit seriously. I turn around and keep walking. 

" We need you to come home Pinetree." 

I ignnore him and keep walking even deeper into the woods. 

" Do you even know how long it took me to find you?"

He turned Me around forcefully and our eyes instantly locked. 

"It took me all day to find you. I left right as they said that you went out. I GOT SO SCARED!!"

I turn back around and begin speed walking 

to hopefully lose him. 

" I dont need you here, Bill. I am fine. Not fucking dead."

I role my eyes. Stupid Bill.

" I would have been Fi- "

I was cut off by stumbling into something. Well... someone. They were very tall. I back up into Bills arms. The person turns around and smiles.

"Howdy folks!"

It was a girl. She had long bubble gum pink hair ( WHY THE HELL WOULD SOMEONE WANT PINK HAIR!!) and sea green eyes. I would have been mesmerized by her, but her giant boobs were kinda in my face. Bill made no effort to move me.

...

We stay like this for half a minute more until Bill finally moves me to the side. 

He just stares. No blinking. Any normal person would think that he was admiring her, which is what I thought, but after a while of looking back and forth between them, I understood.

This was not admiration.

It was utter fear and pain. 

                                   ~~NOTES~~

No offense for people with pink hair ( My best friend has pink hair) !!!!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

~ Oliver