This time it is different

His first changes

"When you lose something, you can either deal with the lost, or look for it. But when you look for it and finally find it, you will make sure not to lose it a second time. Right?"

Why did he have to use THAT phrase again? After Jaehwan had introduced himself, of course without a bow, the three boys from Busan sat on the only free seats, which were luckily far away from Sewoon. The entire time Hyunbin kept looking at Sewoon with a questioned face. "No, just no", Sewoon had mouthed after the incident with Jaehwan. But Hyunbin was not the only one staring at the brown haired boy. Gwanghyun kept turning his face several times and tried to communicate with the said boy, but Sewoon simply ignored the younger.

What was he supposed to say anyway? His mind was a mess and for the first time in ages he felt helpless and like crying.

Why now? After all this time. How was is possible that out of all schools in Seoul they had found him here? This wasn't a coincidence, Sewoon was sure about it. He knew the three boys too well. Especially Donghyun did not believe in coincidences. "Why wait for something to happen when you can make it happen on your own?", Donghyun used to say when they were still....

Sewoon quickly shook his head.

'Stop it, now' he told himself. 'It's over. You don't know these boys anymore. No, you never knew them to begin with'
But now, that they were here, in the same room as him, so thoughts kept blowing his mind.

When he thought no one was paying attention to him, he shot a quick look at Jaehwan. But luck was not on his side, as the said male was staring straight at him. "Found you", he mouthed. "I found you, Ponyo."

Sewoon felt like the whole world was freezing. He moved his head back and tried to keep his cool.
It was getting even harder to do so.

For the first time he found it hard to focus in class. Today when he wanted to focus so badly he couldn't. Because his brain was like his life now.

A mess

A total mess

"No matter what is going to happen. We are here to stay."

Another sentence from the past that had made its way into Sewoon's mind.

"Ponyo, do not even consider selling your guitar! Are you out of mind?"

"Hey, it is going to be okay, don't worry", they had told him during that time. Looking back, it was funny how things had turned out. Everything had changed....

"Jung Sewoon? May I have your attention?", Mr. Hwang interrupted the boy's thoughts. The boy started at the teacher nervously. "Y-yea?" "I was wondering if you could solve this problem, unless your mind is too busy with something else" Immediately Sewoon shock his head and looked at the problem written on the board. Luck was on his side again as math was his strength and this problem seemed to be pretty easy. He got up and chose a way where he would avoid any of the transfer student walking to the board.

And of course he solved it correctly. It was math after all. "Our Ponyo is still the math smartass he used to be", Donghyun laughed and Sewoon could hear the boy's smirk even without looking at him. He turned his face to look at the boy and it took a lot to say "Listen, I am sorry but I have no idea who this so called 'Ponyo' is. You guys seem to look for someone who mind resemble me, but I cannot recall seeing anyone of you before. So please be so kind and stop calling me this weird name. Like who comes up with such a weird name? This someone should rethink how he is spending his free time or get busy"

The entire class froze down and stared at him with wide eyes. Noone dared to say even a word. This was not the Sewoon they knew. Sewoon never talked this way. He was a peaceful guy. He was someone who tried to make everything work, no matter whom it was with.

Gwanghyun's eyes seemed to fall out as he could not believe his friend was able to speak that way in public.

Only God knew how Sewoon had managed to sit back on seat without completely loosing it. Having sat down Hyunbin patted his back which comforted the boy. He was so close to letting his mask break apart and burst into tears. Who was that guy? This wasn't him anymore. He hated himself for feeling this way.

Sewoon felt himself being torn into pieces and he hated them for making him feel that way. Again.

Ones the lecture was finally over the transfer boys were requested to visit the general office making them the classroom. Finally, as Sewoon thought and his breath started calming down. Gwanghyun rushed to his friends and sat down on their table. "Okay, so who are they? And how do you know them? Like I do not know a lot about your childhood in Busan but gosh, those guys seem to be really serious about you, Sewoon-hyung."

"I don't know them, Gwanghyunnie. Maybe they need to get their eyes checked or something. But honestly, as long as they mind their own business, I don't care about them."

How stupid those lies sounded even for Sewoon himself, but he could not tell his friends the truth. And of course neither Gwanghyun nor Hyunbin believed him. But luck was on his side, as his friends let it slipt for the day. Sewoon knew that they'd ask him on any other day again about the boys and he did not blame them.

He was behaving out of character after all.

Break was almost over when Sewoon decided to go to the toilet. Having his iPod he made his way through the floor and was close to entering the restroom when a hand grabbed his wrist.

He knew this touch way too well so he did not need to turn around to confirm who the person was.

"How long will you able to pretend that you don't know us, hmm? How long will you be able to look at us with that face of yours when we all know how you are feeling inside? How long, Jung Sewoon? You think you have yourself under control, but believe me, Jung Sewoon. We know you, like no one else does. No, your new friends in Seoul do not know the weak boy. The scared boy. The vulnerable and sensitive boy.

Do they know that you are scared of storms? Do they know how you need to hide yourself whenever there is a storm?

No, because we are the only ones who know it. And you might have changed, but you cannot change who you are inside. And we know who you are. So try pretending but we will be waiting for the moments you cannot pretend anymore." With that he finally let go of his wrist.

Sewoon turned around and faced the dark haired boy. "Kim Jaehwan. As I told your friend already, I don't know anyone of you. So let's keep it that way. I do not intend getting to know people like you and to be say it bluntly, I do not intend of getting to know anyone of you.

You might know my name. But you don't know my story. And this is the way it will stay. If you excuse me, before next class I would love to go to the restroom"

When he had entered the restroom with one foot Jaehwan said "I know your story, Ponyo. You cannot run away anymore. I forbid that. Because after all this time, you are still the only one."

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How was it? I did not disapoint you, did I?
Thanks for your love already ^_^
As usual, comments are loved!!