This time it is different

I remember

Youngmin ran into the classroom. Class had already started again and Mr. Hwang looked at the boy with a confused expression.

"Where is Sewoon's guitar? I need it. Now!" the boy looked around the classroom only to see confused students looking at him.

His eyes wandered to Sewoon's friends who had raised their eyebrow. "Look, I know you don't know me. But I have no time to loose. Tell me where his guitar is. It's really important. The storm is doing its job on him."

Immediately a young boy, Euiwoong(?), got up. "I will show you where it is. He really needs to hug it now." Mr. Hwang nodded at the boys and they ran out of the classroom.

"I live with him in an apartment. I have seen him hugging his guitar and saying 'I am sorry' many times already. But he never told me whom he is sorry though. He simply cuts the conversation short and leaves into his room. You know, I am an orphan as well... So we both rely on each other... But it feels like Hyung hides a lot of his tears behind a wall... I don't know about your background with him, but if you can make him open up not only to you but to the others, then please do that. His eyes are hiding pain... And I would love to see his real smile for once."

The two boys were running down the long hallway until they finally got into Sewoon's music room. Opening the door Youngmin spotted the familiar looking case. "Howon. It's been a while." He took the case and brought it close to his body.

Euiwoong looked at the older boy. "So its name is Howon? Good to know." "Sewoon never called it by its name? He is such an idiot... Euiwoong, thanks for your help, but I really need to bring Howon to Sewoon." The younger boy nodded and pushed him lightly.

"Bring us his real smile please." Youngmin nodded and ran to the library after checking his phone and reading Donghyun's text.

"Don't worry, Howon. I don't know anything about the pain you have been watching Sewoon go through, but we are here now. He will call you by your name again soon. I promise."

-Somewhere in Sewoon's mind-

"YAH, JUNG SEWOON COME RIGHT HERE", a loud scream was heard in the entire floor.

The said boy was hiding behind a tree outside of the huge building doing his best not to be found. He knew, it had been a bad idea eating his Hyung's last cookie. But the boy was growing up. He needed food.

This what he would say in case he was found.

"Shhht, Ponyo, here! Here is a better place to hide!", a voice said and Sewoon saw Jaehwan weaving him. The younger nodded and rushed over into his friend's arms. The boys rushed over to the garden one arm around the other.

"Did you eat his last cookie again?" The younger boy nodded and pouted. "Hyung really needs to chill about it though... Like I am younger... I need food in order to grow up well..."

The boys rushed to a well-known place where their friends have been waiting for them.

Donghyun and Youngmin rushed to their friends and they shared a group hug. They might be orphans, but they were happy.

They had each other to rely on.

And knowing this Sewoon could only smile.

"I love you, guys. I can't imagine a life without you." He said out of the blue. His eyes had softened. Growing up with his Hyung, he had learned how important random words could be.

Jaehwan looked at the younger boy lovingly. "We love you too, our Ponyo." He kissed the boy's cheek and brought him into his arms.

-End of his mind-

Sewoon woke up after for the first time not going through the usual nightmare during the storm. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw, were two wonderful eyes. He blushed at how close they were to his face. "You are awake, little Ponyo." A wonderful voice whispered. It was his voice. It wasn't the cold voice, but his lovingly voice. How much he had missed hearing this voice, especially after this dream.

Not trying to force himself to act he reached out to touch the other's cheek softly. "I am not thinking clearly right now. I cannot think clearly when I just saw Howon-hyung... I really cannot...

J-Jaehwan-hyung... I missed you all so much. I missed YOU so much. I cannot express who often I wanted to return. To you. Into your arms. The place where I belong to."

The older stared at the boy in his arms and smiled lovingly.

"Sht, it's alright. I know how you are feeling right now, Ponyo. You know, the night you disappeared we were all scared. It took us a long time to finally find you. You know, it's not your fault, right?"

Jaehwan brushed over the boy's cheek and bent down to kiss it softly.

"Howon would not have wanted you to blame yourself for his death, you know that. Sewoon-ah. Stop that game. Please."

"You said you want to return, just do it." Out of nowhere Youngmin and Donghyun came. And in Youngmin's arm there was a certain case. One that Sewoon knew way too well.

"Heard you haven't called it by its name. Sewoon-ah. Let's stop this.

We need each other. When you were gone, a part of us was missing.

I am sorry for taking so long to find you."

"Hyung. You don't need to afraid anymore. There was no need for you blaming yourself about Hyung's death. Minhyun-hyung told us, that your real smile disappeared the night Hyung died.

Is it that hard? To open up? To finally let go of the pain you have been hiding? To return to us? To forgive yourself?"

"It's difficult to return. Can't you understand it?" Slowly the said boy rose from Jaehwan's lap and looked at the boys. He did care for them. Until this day he never stopped caring.

But suddenly he remembered the reason for his departure. And he remembered why there was no way of returning. His former soft expression changed into a cold one.

Whipping away the dirt of his pants he took the case out of Youngmin's hands.

"Next time, do not touch it. It's not yours."

The three boys could sense that Sewoon must have thought about something, because there was no other explanation for him behaving

like this, when he just asked to return.

"It has no name. Because why should it be named something? So I can get attached to it? So it can be taken away from me?"

Youngmin was slowly but surely losing his patience, Sewoon could sense it. But they needed to know that he wasn't the same anymore.

And Sewoon felt a strong punch in his stomach. He laughed drily. It was Youngmin-hyung after all...

"WHAT

THE

HELL

IS

WRONG

WITH

YOU?!" Youngmin yelled at the younger boy.

"WHO ARE YOU?! AND WHERE IS THE LEE SEWOON I USED TO KNOW? LEE SEWOON, LEE HOWONS'S LITTLE BROTHER, THAT USED TO BE ONE OF THE GREATEST PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET?!"

"Lee Sewoon is dead. He died in the fire. Lee Sewoon died the night Howon died. Deal with it. I have changed."