Second Chances || SasuKarin || ON HIATUS

Don't Pity Me

She pursued him and joined us. The saddest part was that he wanted her to, she was apart of his life in a way that I couldn't be. Between the two of us, I felt less important to him since she tagged along. I'm trying to respect that he's moved on with his life, that his heart was never mine to begin with, but it's hard when I supported him more than anything and he still chose her. I received no promise or even a sweet gesture to the forehead like she had. Yet even though she held onto his arm, I still stuck around. That even though she smiled at him and he smiled back, it didn't keep me away. I wanted to be close to him, even if it was just as a friend or comrade. That if it meant, being close to Sakura was being close to Sasuke, I would do it.

Is it still possible for you to change your mind? Is it still possible that you could see me in the same light you see her? That's the hope I cling to and just the chance that it's possible, gives me something to hold onto. I love you, Sasuke-kun. I always will.

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We've been traveling village to village, living off the lands, and the money we made from bounties. Sakura joined taka after Sasuke returned home the second time. I remembered her face from that day on the bridge and knew that she loved Sasuke just as I did, she was his teammate growing up, someone he felt was just as important or even more important than us.

I won't lie, seeing her again ticked me off and I was hurt that I wasn't even a thought in his mind, but if he was happy; all I could do was support them. We were un-admittedly threatened by each other, but she respected me as much as I respected her, so I couldn't complain. I could sense the kind of person she was: warm and strong-willed, but also temperamental and at times, impulsive. She reminded me a lot of myself and maybe that's more of the reason I saw her as a threat to the bond I had with Sasuke. Sakura was even a medic, so it made me feel like I had to step up to the plate before my abilities as a healer weren't needed. Even if it were so, I was still a skilled sensory type, something Sakura couldn't compete with. In a way it made me cocky, but also happy that in some sort of way, Sasuke still wanted and needed me around.

"Karin, mind lending a hand or are you going to keep distantly fawning over Sasuke," Suigetsu teased me as he carried the thick blankets in his arms. I could barely see his head over the mountain of wool, but I could imagine his smart ass toothy grin. He pisses me off, and even more lately than ever. I sent a kick his way, but only manged to make a mess of the covers. "Nice going, Karin."

"Shut up, you bastard of a puddle," I glared at him, only to have him send me back a devious smirk. Damn him. "Go evaporate. And clean up this mess." I smiled stepping over the heap of blankets lying on the floor, taking one with me to my room. Tch, serves him right.

Sakura and I still shared a room while the guys stayed in another. "Hey, Karin!"

She'd always offer me that smile of hers, so I felt pressured to smile back. Sometimes I wish I didn't. With every smile, I felt as if it okay-ed her to come into our life. Was it right for me to think so? I mean, wasn't she making an effort to be around another woman in Sasuke's life too?

"Hey, Sakura," was all I could say before the conversation stopped there, much like it kept happening. I wanted to ask her certain things about him, but the silence made the awkward tension thicker. We'd gone straight to bed like most nights and I laid awake thinking about what will happen when we'd stop traveling together.

"Karin, are you still awake," Sakura whispered as if someone was listening in on us.

"Yes," I responded. I sat up and looked over at her biting her bottom lip. Was she nervous?

"Can I ask you something?" she asked sitting up with me, yet she didn't look me in the eyes. I grabbed my glasses and put them on, taking my time to answer her.

"Yeah, o-of course," If this was some type of girl talk, I wasn't sure I could do it. After all this time, why is she deciding to talk to me, or in this case, ask.

"Why do you love, Sasuke?" She hesitatingly asked.

"What the hell?" I blurted out. What the hell was she trying to get out of this?

"I see the way you watch him and it's obvious to me. I-I'm not upset, but I guess I can't help but asked why you started loving him," Sakura said finally meeting my crimson eyes with her emerald ones.

I huffed the hair from out of my face. "I can't answer that...Or at least I don't want to."

"Why not?" She persisted.

"Because it has nothing to do with you," I said, and it was the most honest I had been with myself. But I could see the saddened expression on her face and sighed. "With all due respect, it's not about why I love him. There was never a 'why', it felt natural, like second nature. There's no real reason as to how I feel about him-but it doesn't matter much now, does it?"

"Karin-"

"No, I don't need pity from you. I don't need any to begin with," Was all I left her with as the silence once again filled the room. Maybe she would be in his life, but so would Taka, and so would I...I didn't need to justify my feelings or explain anything to her.