The Four Wotsits of the Doodad

Cedric

Back at home, Death settled into his chair.

"What happened to you lot?" he asked. Famine had changed his clothes but a bruise was developing around his right eye. War's lip was swollen and he was walking with a limp. Pestilence appeared to have a small football stuck to the side of his head.

"I tripped," they said in unison.

Death frowned and, for once, nothing fell from the sky.

"So, Big D," said Famine in a feeble attempt to raise a smile and retain his self-proclaimed King of Cool stature. "How did you do?"

Death smiled, something that happened so rarely, his face thought it might be splitting and wanted to call the hospital.

"I don't think we'll bother," he told them. "The world has been falling apart since it was first put together. Nothing we can do about it. How about we just watch a bit of TV and don't let it bother us?"

The other three stared at each other. 'Just...?!' 'Don't...?!?'

"Besides," said Death. "I quite like it here. Why bother at all? Leave them to it!"

War shook his head. Sometimes Death could just be so awkward sometimes. He picked up the TV remote control and sat down. Famine and Pestilence returned to their Monopoly game.

In the back garden, Cedric had just woken up from a long snooze. He pushed himself up and burped, his stomach rumbling loudly.

Then he hiccupped, then he burped again.

Cedric's three heads suddenly turned away from each other, shook and smashed together. The bones crunched and made loud grinding sounds as they fused together into one. He dipped his head and burped again as his body began to stretch and bubble.

Then Cedric barked, a sound that carried through the ground to rumble at the feet of the brothers.

Famine had just rolled the dice, but didn't notice how they landed. He walked over to the window to look out.

"Guys," he said, turning. "Why is there a horse in our back garden?"

He looked back again.

"Hold on..." he said. "There's four!"

Three of the Wotsits of the Apocalypse looked at the fourth.

Death sighed and slapped his thigh.

"Ah," he said. "Now I remember..."