"Thank you Ana" (Fifty Shades fanfiction)

14 January 2012

I wake up crying. My sleep wasn't so comfortable and i still feel tired. Something has changed. Christian has returned, i can hear him working in his office.

I arise carefully from my bed. The little invader inside me, must be sleeping-he's very quiet.

I stand up, exhausted and go to Christian's office. My hands are shaking.

I shouldn't be afraid of him!

I finally knock the door quietly.

《Yeah, Anastasia. Come in.》

His voice sounds unfamilliar.

I close the door behind me and sit on the couch discouraged.

My stomach is upset again and i feel weak.

《We should talk about the baby...our child.》he points out, sound terrified.

I nod. Of course we have to talk about it. It's a huge deal...

《Yeah, Christian i want this baby. I don't want to end my pregnancy. I would never do something like this! It's so..unfair...for this little invader. It was a mistake i know-we didn't want children but now...i just can't kill him.》the words come out of me without caution.

I shed tears without knowing and Christian looks completely appalled and speechless.
He's gazing me worried about my weird reaction.

《Anastasia, how did you think that i would want you to kill the baby? Do you think i am completely heartless? 》

He looks angry and wounded simultaneously.

I am still crying.

《You told me you are.》i whisper.

《It's the truth. But i wouldn't kill my own child. I just don't know how to love it. And i don't know how to love you...you should leave me. I am not the right man if you want kids Anastasia.》

I feel very wounded.

《But it's your child you can't leave me and the little stalker...》

《I am not leaving you. You will have all the protection and geniality you need. But you were supposed to be my submissive, not the mother of my child. I 'm not ready to do this. Here are your options: you can leave me and raise our child with the money i'll be sending you, or you can stay with me by that time you'll give birth...and leave our baby to an orphanage to grow up with someone who loves it.》

《But i love my little stalker...》i say, crying.

I touch my belly softly, brushing the pea.

He seems shocked.

《Already? How? Ana...this can't be happening...you love..him?》

《I can already see a little boy. I mean...i can imagine a little boy..a Christian Junior..》, i blush.

He seems indecisive now.

What are we gonna do?

I haven't stopped caressing my tummy with my hand, trying to protect the little invader from hearing our conversation.

《I need a break ok? I need to visit my mom, and discuss the whole pregnancy thing. Can i?》i ask, hoping that he's not so protective right now.

《I think you should stay with me Anastasia. I need you now. And...i want you to be safe now. I mean...you may decide that you want to keep the...child for yourself and...it might be dangerous to travel right now.》

《I think you don't get it. I feel completely repressed. I really need that break. You can...send me an email if you still like me..to check if i am ok..》

He comes close to me and hugs me warmly. I feel so safe right here...but i have to think about everything. Our relationship, the contract that i haven't signed, and the little pea inside me.

He kisses me and i kiss him back.

I leave his cuddle, still crying and go upstairs to pack some of my clothes. I don't really know when i'll come back...

Heyy ...the second chapter is more sad and emotional but Ana is leaving Christian for a little because she needs to think..