The C.I and The Agent (agent hotchner)

Slowly Getting Better

After working with the team on a few cases, I was getting used to them. They were slowly trusting me too. We have had a few cases. I helped when I could.

I was getting close to jj, garcia, and emily. Derek checks on me every night I can't help but to wonder what would happen if they found out about the truth about me.

Hotch and reid knew. The others I'm not so sure. Reid and hotch do second guess me alot. Yet in the end they agree I was right.

It was honestly annoying.

Right now we were on our way to DC My bread and butter. I smirked as I went to the plane and started looking things over. It was an anthrax scare. We have people all over the office.

I sighed as I tucked a strand of my ebony locks behind my ear. We were working hard and headed into the house where officers were. We had a few people in mind and have been working on this for like 4 hours. I sighed as I went into the house when hotch got a call.

He nodded for me to go in. I did. I felt something was off. I looked down seeing a broken light bulb and gulped as I ran to the door shutting and locking it as quick as possible. I heard a fan going and looked around the place.

It was full of dead animals starting small with a mouse all the way up to a dead dog. I paled and heard a jiggle of the door knob.

I looked seeing hotch and went to the door. "Open the door kenzi we can mess around!" He said loudly as I sighed with a sad smile.

"I am not messing around hotch. Anthrax was broken and it's in the air. " I said firmly as he looked at me sternly. "Do not come inside. I am already hit with it. Let me work and help." I said smiling at him. "Think of jack we aren't even sure if the pills will work...stay outside and work the case find the bastards doing it." I Said As I Tied My Hair up.

"Kenzi" he said sighing as I looked at him.

"The more we talk the more we lose time...I'm paying my debt to society. Whatever happens happens" I said looking at him with my grey blue eyes. "Trust me for once in your life" I said as I turned away and went to the journals.

I started looking and rifling through. I was getting into it when my phone rang. I sighed softly as I kept working.

I had to be fast. As fast as possible. I licked my lips as I studied while answering my phone.

"wonderful world of kenzi" I said absently while I looked through binders.

"Hey kenzi did you find anything?" It was garcia.

"Um no" i said holding back a cough before covering the bottom of the phone and coughed softly.

"Kenzi..are you ok?" Garcia asked worriedly as I laughed softly.

"I'm fine I'm always fine you know that right?" I asked as she sighed before seeing uncomfortable.

"Is..there a message you'd like to leave in case.." she said trailing off. "Or someone I can call" she said seeming very upset.

I thought for a second. Honestly. No. There wasnt. I ran away from home at 13 from abuse. I never really had a relationship. Or...anyone. damn I'm depressing.

"No..I dont..I'm talking to you. I'm ok garcia..no one's going to miss me..I'm a nobody hobestly." I said before hanging up gently.

I felt something coming down my face and I gently wiped it. I looked seeing blood. Shit. I wiped it with a sigh seeing the blood.

I kept working and frowned a bit as I saw something unusual with the trash.

"Huh...more lightbulbs....and is that.." I whispered pulling out an inhaler. I raised an eyebrow as I called hotch letting him know what I found.

I took a deep breath as I looked over at everything. I sat down with my head in my hands as I started coughing like crazy. I put a tissue to my mouth and pulled it back seeing blood.

"Shit" I whispered I heard a knock and quickly wiped all the blood away looking normal before walking over. I saw hotch he looked me over as I smiled softly a woman walked over and went in a hazzmat suit getting the inhalers.

I stood there for a while and hotch told me they were getting the pair. I nodded my head as hotch eyed me.

"You ok?" He asked gently. I nodded my head with a smile on my face as I cleared my itching throat.

"Yes I am ok.." I whispered he seemed to be profiling me. I didn't understand why.

"Alright just hang in there" he said before turning and walking away. When he was gone I started coughing uncontrollably. I fell to my knees as it kept taking over me. I felt tears in my eyes. I was going to die. I knew it. This was for everything I have done. Over the years the money I took, the food I stole..the lives I destroyed.

I felt my lungs ache in a pain I never knew before. It felt like they were crushing in on me.

I was gasping for air. I didn't know what I was going to do now. I just hoped I helped the last of the victims with those inhalers. In that crushing moment I felt how alone I really was. I was alone forever. Lost in a world that had no use of me.
I felt suffocated as I hit the ground. I Turned Onto My Back As MY World Went black.

When I woke up I heard beeping beside me. I also heard crying and panicked voices.

I took a shaky breath as I opened my heavy lidded eyes. I looked around the room seeing a very scared garcia.

"Oh my sweet dark queen are you ok? Stupid question your not. Oh sweetie." She said taking my hands in hers. I looked at her as my lips quirked up slightly.

"Hey nerd" I said laughing softly before coughing a bit as I laid there closing my eyes again. I felt exhausted still.

"Miss romanov.." hotchner said sternly making my lips quirked again.

"Hotch with all due respect if your going to get pissed at me..please dont. I did it so you guys would be focused on them not me..I'm just a stupid criminal who got a nice shot at a government job" I said firmly as I sat up looking at them all.

"Criminal? Hotch what is she talking about?" Morgan asked as I snorted as I looked at him.

"I'm going to be gone soon anyway..mackenzie malikov at yur service" I said annoyed as I looked at morgan. "Con woman..thief..and somehow now a fbi agent." I said weakly as garcia stroked my hair.

"You guys let a criminal into the fbi.." morgan said angrily while I quirked my lips up.

"Yup strauss idea. I'm going back to jail though..I love this job. But without trust in a team it makes it dangerous. I haven't been trusted since day one by any of you...I have been questioned at each step. No trust equals no team. Strauss white collar idea didn't work. After I'm out and we'll I'm going back to prison atleast there I'm not questioned. Or looked at like im the freak of the group" I said softly as garcia looked at me sadly.

"What could strauss have seen in her? I know her. She conned everyone she could get her hands on without a care in the world. She hurt people" Derek said even more angry.

"Derek that's enough" Hotch said angrily making me roll my eyes.

"It's true I did alot of people. Agent..call strauss and tell her that the deals off. It's not worth it. Freedom isn't freedom if your stuck in a 5 mile radius at home and can't even meet people to have a relationship or even a family..plus she only wanted me because I am able to disappear if need be with no real skills..she told me that herself..plus as she said 'I'm a filthy criminal with an amazing amount of contacts and information you guys would need' so again please leave. Thank you for the open heartedness and giving me a good few months" I whispered before coughing again and closed my eyes again.

I heard footsteps leaving before I felt tears roll down my face. Everything I said was true..I was just the only one confident enough to say it.