Cautious

Chapter 4

Pictured: Love

Song of the Chapter: Kiss me Slowly by Parachute

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"You okay?" Rydiden asks as he enters my room later that day.

"Yeah, why?" I ask, not looking up from my book or my spot on the bed.

"Well, Sandrayn told me you dumped him. So..."

"I'm fine," I reassure him.

"You sure? 'Cause if he hurt you, you can always depend on me to retaliate. After Sandrayn kills him. But you know...whatever," he says awkwardly.

"Rydiden," I say, moving over to him and hugging him briefly. "I'm fine. But thanks for asking anyways."

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened?"

"Maybe later."

"Why aren't you sad? Or heartbroken?"

"Because. I don't think I liked him very much. He changed. And not for the better. We never really liked each other, I think it was just the illusion of us together. You know the bad boy and good girl, but it doesn't work. Not for us, anyways. But whatever. I'm fine, he's living, and you're still my friend," I smile at him and he nods stiffly.

"Yeah," he grits out.

"What's wrong?" I ask, lifting my hand to touch his cheek.

"I'm fine," he says roughly and I drop my hand.

"Sorry," I mumble, stepping away from him.

"Sorry, it's just...you won't tell me why," he mutters, looking away.

I look at him, biting my lip.

"Rydiden."

He doesn't look at me so I move up to him, bringing my hands to his cheeks, forcing him to face me.

"Rydiden."

He stares at me, his eyes boring into mine.

"I didn't tell you not because I don't trust you. It's because...I don't want you to know. Honestly? I'm a little ashamed."

"Ashamed of what?" his eyebrows furrow.

"You promise you won't tell Sandrayn? I'll let him know later."

He nods, making my hands move up and down. Laughing, I remove my hands but he grabs them, intertwining our fingers and bringing them behind his back, making me step forward into his chest and my arms to wrap around him. His arms wrap around my waist, the one in a cast laying gently on my hip, and I press my cheek against his soft shirt, smelling a hint of soap.

"He was using me," I start and because of our proximity, I feel every muscle in his body tense.

Lifting my hands, I gently stroke his back, waiting until he calms down. When he's no longer tense and his breathing evens out, I continue.

"He only dated me because I was the coach's daughter. He thought it was a way to secure his spot on the team. And...that guy he was always with, the one who broke your hand, he did it on purpose because I was getting too close to you and couldn't have you 'jeopardizing the mission'."

He pulls away and I can't stop the look of hurt that crosses my face.

"He took my life away from me because of you?" he chokes out.

I didn't think of it like that, but now that I do, it's my fault.

"I gotta go," he mumbles and I don't stop him when he leaves.