Should've Gone To Bed

s e v e n

draft saved on jun. 27, 2017. published on jul. 28, 2017.

song: Don't Leave by Snakeships, MØ

note: i hope you enjoy this chapter, also know that this is unedited. and sorry for the super late update.

c h a p t e r s e v e n : the one that got away

What's worse than being left behind by your biological mother? The one who carried you for nine months in her womb, the one you shared your life with?

I'd been accustomed to people constantly coming in and out of my life sans my consent that I'd been immune to feeling agony. But as Bradley gripped my hand in pure anxiousness, my life seemed like it was on the verge of shattering into a million pieces, ones I could never put back together.

He was the second person who understood me and the one who put up with my shit and fucked up life apart from my dad.

It was midnight and here we were, prancing amidst families who kept sharing hugs, kisses and goodbyes. Tears were very dominant, coincided with sobs and mascara tear-stained faces. My eyes continued to rove around the crowded area until I had to refrain myself. I didn't want the realization to sink in, I didn't want the reality to creep in just yet. I'd rather stay in an alluring dream than to live in the real world, where cruel things couldn't be precluded from transpiring.

My eyes raked Bradley's features once more, knowing I'd have to say goodbye in a few minutes. His brown curls were impeccably unkempt, half of it completely hiding his forehead with its conspicuous density. His blue eyes were slowly revamping into dark green, and they crinkled as he offered me a smile, one that was predominantly of despair and calvary. I noticed the way his laugh lines would deepen as he smiled and they would linger there for a while and completely vanish once again, leaving his face wrinkle-free. And the way his rose-colored lips were always turned downwards, no matter what emotion he was experiencing.

And the unsettling feeling resurfaced once again, gnawing at my stomach when Bradley stopped walking, making me stop with him. We were in the middle of a crowded airport, but the bevy of people was the least of my worries at this moment.

He looked weary, very weary. The dark circles under his eyes were bulging, and I was pretty sure I looked worse. It wasn't supposed to be like this, no one was supposed to say goodbye. Perhaps if I had pushed myself further into him for the past months, I'd known what was up and perhaps we could've spent more time together before he had to leave.

He engulfed me in his arms and I inhaled his scent, realizing this would be the last time my nose could smell his fragrance. I didn't want to cry, but when I heard his arbitrary sob, I couldn't help but breakdown. This was the second time I had seen him cry. The first one was when he lost his father last year, it was early in winter and his father died of cancer which caused his mother to go arrantly berserk. Now that I'd thought about it, maybe that was why her mother was forging his own son into an arranged marriage, because they were getting bankrupt. From all of the expenses at the hospital and their business losing its sole owner, she figured she needed to do something so they wouldn't fall under the category of poverty. And she used her own son, what a sick thinking.

Just thinking about it as Bradley cooped me in his arms made my stomach churn in rage. It wasn't fair that Bradley's mother was deranged and unfair.

A voice boomed from the speakers, asking for the passengers of a certain flight to fill up the airplane. I held onto Bradley tighter, refusing to let him go anywhere. His shirt was soaked with my tears that if he were to twist it hard, salt water would trickle down. Running down his hand on my hair, he chanted, "I love you, I love you, I love you."