Should've Gone To Bed

f o u r

draft saved on mar. 03, 2017. published on mar. 16, 2017

song: Maps by Maroon 5 (please play this while reading the story)

note: thanks for the almost 700 reads! you guys were amazing. ps. this is unedited, and sorry if it was short and boring. also please check out my hew book entitled LINEAR EQUATIONS.

c h a p t e r f o u r : every alleyway is dark, you idiot

I liked the taste of alcohol against my tongue. It was amazing, it works magic on everyone who wants to forget everything temporarily. You cave in even if it was just transitory. I guess you could tell, I was that desperate. Another thing I liked about alcohol; it burns your throat at the first shot, but then leaves you craving for more even when it hurt you in the first place. That was pretty much how I depicted myself whenever I thought of the name Bradley.

He was my alcohol after all these years. He still is.

An unfamiliar guy started grinding his body on me, greedily groping my ass with both of his hands. I growled and punched his nuts. I couldn't even feel his small dick when my fist made contact with it. It was super small. He prostrated on the floor, I sneered and kicked his side.

"You filthy, thirsty, small dick of a boy!" I slurred in my drunken state.

I stormed upstairs. I was in Megan's party, the whole place was trashed even if the party just started two hours ago. I managed to get inside a small room without bumping to any hormonal teenagers, grinding themselves on the walls while making out with a person they barely know.

If Bradley was here, he'd beat up that guy in a pulp. He'd ask me if I was okay. He'd snake his arm around my hip, letting his territorial side dominate himself. He'd kiss me as if we'd never see each other again. He'd drive me home, telling me I shouldn't get too wasted or else he'd have to beat tons of other guys.

I locked the door and leaned against the door, tugging the ends of my hair down fervently. I missed him so much. I want to feel his body so close to mine, the point where there was no space between us.

I miss him. I love him.

He was the first guy I'd ever loved. I never thought it would end up this badly. This is what happens if you loved someone too much. It's dangerous.

I got so lost in him that even if I wanted to escape, I couldn't. I didn't know the way back. He was the only one who has it memorized, I needed him to escape. But he has forgotten me already. It pained me that I never crossed his mind while he was the only one I could focus on.

Is there a map that can lead me out?

I hauled myself up and unlocked the door. Stepping out, I saw the same people making out in the hallway. I blanched in disgust and rushed downstairs, getting lost in the sea of sweaty, hormonal and drunk people.

Maps by Maroon 5 started playing, and in almost by coincidence, Bradley sauntered inside the room. His eyes roved around as if he was looking for a certain someone.

I miss the conversations.

The lyrics rang inside my head, playing over and over again until a tear slid down my cheek. His eyes met mine and I put up a blank facade. He instantaneously tore his gaze off of me when someone caught his marvelous eyes. I followed the trajectory of his gaze, already knowing who it was.